SEE | FEEL | RESPOND

As is the reality with most of you reading this right now, I have spent the last month diving in to the realities of racism being alive and booming in the world right now. I have been examining my life and thoughts, and asking the Lord to reveal parts of my heart that are not pure in my love for people. 

It's been a roller coaster.

I've had to give myself a system where I am sharing and loud about it all for a couple of days, and then I take a day to sit back and watch, and listen to the Lord and to the people in my life. It never fails that on those listening days the Lord gets VERY loud about His heart on this matter and what He's asking of His church in this season. Verses in the Bible will smack me in the face with truth, He'll use people to confirm things He has already spoken to me, and He'll speak through shows I'm watching...

Which leads me to today's blog.

I started watching Family Matters a couple of weeks ago. Mostly because I am feeling real nostalgic in this 4th month of quarantining, but also because it felt pertinent to this time in history... and I wasn't wrong. 

The episode I watched last night (season 5, episode 15) gripped my heart. Is it cheesy 90's acting? Yes. But is it crazy that this SAME TOPIC is still a thriving issue 26 years later? Most definitely yes. I have attached a clip from this episode below, would you consider watching it real quick?

Did it grip you like it gripped me? Did it make you sad? Did it infuriate you?

After watching that episode I looked up what year it aired... 1994. It literally could have been last week. 

The question I keep seeing posted by those who are having a very hard time grasping that this happens, that this STILL happens, is "why can't we just let history be history and leave it be?" And my answer is the same every time... it's not history until we've moved on from it. You can't look back at history and learn from it if the same mistakes are continually happening to this day. 

So how do we solve it? How do we move out of this race driven stereotyping that is so damaging? 

Well, what I keep hearing the Lord say is to love Him and love them... them being every human on the planet. To some, that may seem like a mysterious, non-tangible answer. But to me it's the only answer. 

We can change laws, we can challenge thinking, we can increase training for civil servants, we can (and should) do all the physical things... but the root of the evil is in our hearts. This evil called racism is sin. And my Bible says "love covers a multitude of sin". So to me, if I want to rid this world of racism I have got to love so it cancels out that hatred and sin. 

And I feel challenged everyday that the church has got to get this. We have got to see the big picture. And we have got to stop processing the happenings in the world and in our country through the lens of politics. Because politics are MANMADE... meaning they are fallible, and should never be the leading factor in decision making for a Christian. We should be asking Holy Spirit to open our hearts, unveil our eyes, and give us ears to hear what He is saying.,, and then RESPOND ACCORDINGLY.

So if you're a follower of Jesus, I challenge you to pray this prayer this week...

Lord, give me humility to hear and see what You are saying and doing right now. Help me to be gracious and kind in the way I respond to people. And teach me to love above all things. . Amen

And once you've prayed that expect that He's going to speak, and be willing to be obedient even if it doesn't match what you're used to. He's doing something in the earth, and I can't wait to see how beautiful He will make the results of all this ugliness. 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 16: I AM WHITE

I am white. And I am grateful to be white. 

I am grateful to wake up every morning not worried whether someone will think I'm trying to rob them if I am wearing the hoodie on my sweat shirt. I am grateful I can walk and drive around neighborhoods and not have the police called on me or guns fired in my direction. I am so grateful that I don't have to process through every single one of my facial expressions so I don't offend someone and get shot, choked, stabbed, hung, or kneeled on for it. But what I am not grateful for is that there are people, friends or not friends, that wake up every morning and have to consider all of the previously mentioned things (and SOOOO much more) before they can even leave their homes... and even then it's not promised that there won't be disgusting hate thrown their way.

I'm not innocent in this. When I was younger I made many un-loving, disrespectful, cruel remarks and jokes about people out of ignorance and stupidity. I wasn't raised to hate people, in fact my whole life I heard the scripture "love your neighbor", and yet my heart was not being loving at all. I was neglectful with my words and it breaks my heart to think about that now... And so I repent for the immaturity and hate that I let seep out of me.

I'm older now. I've seen more of the world, experienced cultures outside of the "white america" I grew up in... and I've learned quite a bit. I'd say the biggest lesson I've learned is that I'm not done learning. There will always be more for me to see, more for me to hear, and more for me to understand. Wisdom says to use every sense I have to make myself better so I can lead and love better and I plan to do just that.

No longer will I sit by with the ugly face of silence weighing on my chest. I CANNOT continue to watch people die because of such hate and two minutes later turn on netflix and forget it ever happened. Lord don't let me! I beg You to break my heart for this because I know it's breaking Yours!!!


I want to pose a serious thought to you...

Close your eyes and imagine...

Think of your child, your spouse, your parents, or even yourself...

Let empathy fill your heart and mind for a moment.

How do you feel when you imagine those closest to you being pinned to the ground with a knee in their neck, slowly cutting off the air from their lungs as they groan for mercy?

How do you feel when you think about being chased through your neighborhood with guns raised... knowing that moment might possibly be your last... and then it turns out you're right?

Stop pretending this isn't happening. Stop being naive. Stop suppressing empathy and let yourself feel this.


The greatest commandment is to love God and then that is quickly followed up with LOVE PEOPLE. Sometimes loving people looks cute and frilly like a valentines day card... but most of the time loving people looks like getting down in the dirt with them. Protecting them. Standing up for them. Listening to their stories and experiences and then letting it sit with you. So do that... all of it. Let it have and effect on you, your life, your thoughts, the way you raise your children, the way to think of people... let it change you.

And with all of that being said... I will also point out that this is a SPIRITUAL BATTLE!

So yes, do the things in the natural that need to be done, but don't forget that our fight is not against flesh and blood. We are not taking up our swords against people, but against a demonic principality. A principality that has taken up residence in too many hearts and minds. And we must command it to go. We must use all the spiritual authority that we carry to command it to leave and to end with us!

LISTEN  |  PRAY  |  LOVE  |  ACT

We can change this. We can end it. I know we can because Jesus said we'd do even greater things than He.

So if you're reading this and you're white, be grateful... but don't stop there. Make yourself uncomfortable with facts and discernment about this disgusting topic of racism. Call it what it is, by name, and command it to go.

And if you're reading this and you are any other color than white... I'm sorry that the enemy and sin have created such a disturbing thing and used so many people to carry out this hateful plan of destruction on you. We need you. I love you. And the Lord loves you. And He is bringing us out of negligence and into truth and light so we can stand with you. It ends NOW!

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 14: OBEDIENCE

Anybody else grateful for ⬇️ right now?

I'm grateful that seasons come and go.
I'm grateful that this too shall pass... eventually.
And
I'm grateful that even in this season I can hear the Lord's voice and live in peace.


With that being said, I wanted to take a few minutes to share something the Lord was speaking to my heart this week, that in turn challenged me to be grateful in a new way.

I've started reading the Gospels again. It's funny because I've read through them many times, but overtime I open them back up and I am drawn to a new portion. Yesterday it was the first chapter of Matthew.

If you've ever read Matthew then you know that the first chapter is a list of descendants. Now that I've said that you're probably wondering what was so deep about reading a list of names... and to be fair, I was wondering the same thing when I was getting emotional reading it (😂). So I kept reading to see if I'd find some clarity for the emotions. 

And I've come to the conclusion that this is a two-fold answer...

HERITAGE   &   OBEDIENCE

This long list (let's be honest it's not as long as some of the other lineages listed in the Bible lol) that connected each name to another ends with Joseph, the husband of Mary and the earthly father of Jesus. A man that doesn't get much reference and a Bible character not paid much attention. And yet, a key player in the life of Jesus. His choices helped build the foundation of this life changing story.

You see, Joseph had options to ignore the voice of God and continue living a "normal" life. In his short portion of the gospel stories he heard from the Lord several times... each time Joseph had to decide to trust and obey, or to do it his own way. But Joseph, a normal man with an extraordinary heritage chose overtime to be obedient to the voice of God.

This is important because imagine this:

Joseph is engaged to Mary who tells him she's been impregnated by the Holy Spirit. He wants to cut off their engagement but has a dream where the Lord tells him to stick it out... what if he didn't? What if fear of opinions and culture were too scary to face? What effect would that have had on this crucial story?

What if Joseph ignored the dream of warning to escape Bethlehem and go to Egypt because it was too much work to pick up and go? Would the narrative of Jesus' life have been different?

Joseph was chosen by God to carry this role, for he was positioned in the lineage that was prophesied to bring forth the Savior. BUT Joseph also had to choose to step in to that calling. His choices didn't just have an effect on him and Mary, but touched all of history... and will continue to do so.

And that, right there, is what stuck out to me in the first chapter of Matthew! Joseph could choose to obey and honor his calling and the heritage from which he came, or ignore it.

Our choice to be obedient, even in the hard and uncomfortable have an effect on our heritage. The generations after us will feel the ripples of our choices. They may not know our name, we may not be remembered, but they will feel the ripples of our choices. 

Because of that, today I am grateful for the reminder that EVERY . SINGLE . CHOICE I make matters. Big or seemingly small, there will be an impact. And everytime I choose to be obedient, no matter how hard it is or who is pushing against me, I make a ripple that can change the world.

I'm grateful for Joseph and his choices to obey. I am grateful for his willingness to be who God called him to be. And I'm truly inspired by his bravery today. May we all strive to carry a little bit of Joseph in our decision makin from now on.

Things I was grateful for this week:

• Video chats with family and friends
• God is a God of justice AND mercy
• Fresh food

"Grateful: (adjective)

    warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" - Dictionary.com 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 10: PEOPLE

I want to share a sensitive and vulnerable topic for me this week...

People.

Expectations.

Rejection.

And how it all plays together with gratefulness.


When I started my blog back in college, I imagined it as an online journal for just me. A safe place to keep record of the things I'm doing, the lessons I'm learning, and a place to reflect back on to see how I've grown. Over time, though, I've matured and the Lord has stretched my idea and vision of ministry and this has become a place of outreach and testimony instead. Every week that I publish a post I pray that it reaches the people it's meant to reach, encourages the hearts that need it, and shines a light in a dark world.

But, there's been a big struggle for me in this journey of blogging. When the transition came from a "self-focused journal" to a "ministry focused blog" I began to feel all the rejection. Why? Well the simple answer is the enemy sucks. But the bigger picture is that I expected that friends would come along side and encourage me, keep me accountable, celebrate with me, and share my blog... but they didn't. In fact, they rarely even read it. And my expectations were crushed, thus leaving my heart feeling rejected and unsupported. And I'll tell you what, it's hard to make yourself get up and write when you are feeling that way.

Why keep blogging if it hurts so much? Because I learned a long time ago that the enemy likes to hit where it hurts usually because he's afraid of what the outcome will be if you keep going. But I REFUSE to give in to his dramatic tactics. I have the option... to share what the Lord puts in my heart and trust that He'll heal the hurt I feel after, or to give up and deal with regret. And I'm not one for a life of regret.

So, what's all of this got to do with gratefulness you may be wondering?

Well when I started the Journal To Gratefulness journey I wanted (and needed) it to interrupt and dig up areas that I was really having trouble being grateful in... one of which was people, expectations, and rejection. Throughout the process this has been THE HARDEST area to figure out to be grateful. And to be honest, I'm not there yet. I want to be upfront and vulnerable about that... I do not have the answer yet. This is an area I'm still walking through it, still trying to figure it out as I go.

But I'm not giving up.

I believe there is another side to this. I believe and am filled with hope that I will come out on that side having gained wisdom and strategy in how to be grateful for people who will not meet my expectations and will reject me... possibly even grateful for what that rejection will teach me. And that is a step forward for me. Because at the beginning of all this I didn't have a glimmer of hope for that and was just grasping for air through each stormy wave of being rejected.

I said at the beginning of this journey I wanted to share the good, bad, and unclear... so today's post is one of those "not there yet, but moving forward" posts. I'm trusting the Lord, His Word, and this process He has me on. I would encourage you to also just keep going. We've all got areas that we feel stuck in and are needing to see the Lord do a work. Just keep pushing in to Him, being obedient to His directives, and trust the process He is leading you through. He is faithful! He will help us and teach us and lead us... we just gotta keep following.

Things I was grateful for this week:

• Authority in Christ... over sickness, demons, emotions, etc.
• Our new backyard furniture and the peaceful place it gives me to process.
• Fruit trees. MY fruit trees!

"Grateful: (adjective)

    warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" - Dictionary.com 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 9: STRATEGY

You may have noticed week 8's blog is missing... why? Because this season is hard and I felt sad, inadequate, and honestly not grateful last week. I needed to work through that and switch my lens and perspective. It took a few days but I think I'm getting there. To be honest, there may be days in the next coming weeks where I won't have the greatest emotions attached to this process... but today, TODAY I am grateful.

I was thinking maybe I could share with you the strategic steps I'm putting in place to keep grounded, focused, and stable in this majorly insane, confusion, frustrating season of life we are all in together.

Firstly, TOGETHER... that word is something I'm writing on my heart and keeping at the forefront of my mind. Unlike any other season of life, we are all in this together (que High School Musical soundtrack 😂). We are all experiencing the daily reports and news stories, seeing family and friends testing positive and it moving closer and closer to home, the cabin fever, and so much more. So to be able to remember I'm not alone in these experiences and emotions helps to keep my feet on the floor.

Secondly, a verse I feel is extremely necessary for all of us to meditate and sit on during these weeks of isolation is:

"For the Lord God is brighter than the brilliance of a sunrise! Wrapping Himself around me 

like a shield, He is so generous with His gifts of grace and glory. Those who walk along His paths with integrity will never lack one thing they need, for He provides it all!" Psalm 84:11

God is here. He is working. There is good shining through all of this sad and hard stuff. He is surrounding us, He is speaking to us, and in the midst of lack He is bringing provisions in amazing ways. So our job is to simply recognize it, to see the the brightness of who He is right now.

Thirdly, and this has been a running theme throughout the whole Journal To Gratefulness process, I have to make myself look for the beauty that is happening between the cracks. If I don't I'm gonna snap. Because the beauty brings HOPE. When we see things thriving, growing, being refreshed it reminds us that the world is not crumbling away. Hope can do a lot more for us than we give it credit. I always think of Hunger Games when I think of the power of hope...

"Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective, a lot of hope is dangerous. A spark is fine, as long as it's contained. (President Snow)."

The enemy of our hearts, minds, and souls wants us to be fearful. He'd love for us to play dead and let this time pass us by. But I'm hopeful for the opposite outcome. I'm hoping that we will rise from the ashes with renewed faith int he Lord. That we will see each other in a new light. I hope and pray that a unity like the world has never seen will be something we can celebrate at the end of this season. I have a lot of hope for us as a people... we will come through, thriving, empowered, stretched but not torn! 

Let's be strategic in this time. Let's use it wisely. And let's not forget that this too shall pass!

Things I was grateful for this week:

• I'm breathing.
• I have food. 
• God is STILL on the throne!
• The Joy of the Lord is my strength. 

"Grateful: (adjective)

    warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" - Dictionary.com 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 7: LIGHT

The elephant in the room...

The events of the last month have just been pure insanity. Like mind boggling, sad, confusing, scary, and WEIRD! It seems most of us are trying to do whatever we can to not only make it through this, but also help those we love via distance. We're going to get through this. I know it's been said many times, but we are! We've got to keep that mindset in place. We may see some more drastic measures taken/changes happen, but most of the time things get worse before they get better. And that is O K as long as the better happens! So don't give up hope.


Now let me distract you a bit from the regularly scheduled program with some encouragement!

Though the solitude is killing me slowly (lol) I am STILL finding things to be grateful for everyday. With all of this downtime I have been able to pull out some hobbies I haven't worked on in while. I've been focussing a lot on building skills like piano playing and cooking/baking. I'm writing a lot more. I have started all the marvel movies from the beginning, watching them in order of the years they take place in the movies. I'm also working on a new business adventure to hopefully be up in the next coming weeks... you'll get the sneak peek right here! 😉

But one of the things I really felt I needed to pull out and focus on in this down time was painting. I'm not great, let's definitely preface with that lol, but its true therapy for me. Not to mention I usually only paint when I feel something in my heart from the Lord and I was definitely feeling something this week!

These scriptures kept coming to mind every time I would think about what is happening right now: Matthew 5:14-16

 “Your lives light up the world. Let others see your light from a distance, 

for how can you hide a city that stands on a hilltop? 

And who would light a lamp and then hide it in an obscure place? 

Instead, it’s placed where everyone in the house can benefit from its light. 

So don’t hide your light! Let it shine brightly before others, so that the commendable 

things you do will shine as light upon them, and then they will give their 

praise to your Father in heaven.”

And this is what I felt in my heart from this verse...

Now is the PERFECT time for the church (the people, not the buildings) to shine so brightly. But how do we shine? How do we illuminate a world that is feeling very dark and heavy at the moment? We have to make the choice to walk in hope, peace, and joy. The enemy is trying to rob us of those specific things right now, but because we know the Giver of hope, peace, and joy we have an answer. 

Walk closely with Him and His amazing attributes will begin to reflect in us. When people are living in fear for tomorrow, we speak peace. When people are feeling destitute, we offer hope. And when sorrow overwhelms the world, we declare JOY!

It is not time for the church to hide (*see disclaimer below), but a time for us to use the resources at our fingertips to shine light. If we know the truth and don't share it, how neglectful that would be. To watch people suffer and not offer up the solution. But if we will climb that hill and allow our lamps to be lit brightly then the eyes of man will be turned to the Father! I know it because His word is truth!

(*Disclaimer: it is VERY important that we keep physical distance from each other right now as we try to snuff out this virus from being passed to those it can be very harmful to. So please use wisdom... you can use social media, phones, letters, literally anything besides physical contact to reach out.)

I'm so grateful that the Lord speaks to us. I'm thankful His word is alive and still breathes life with whomever it comes in contact. I'm also grateful that as His children we know His voice and can trust Him... because even the faintest whisper from Him could calm 1,000 raging seas. So let Him speak to you in this chaos and watch Him change the tone of what is happening... and then share that peace with the world around you!

So, with all that being said I'm going to show you the painting that came out of these thoughts, words, heart processings... be gentle with me lol it's not the best thing I've ever painted, but it means something...

Things I was grateful for this week:

• A home to social distance myself in
• H O P E
• Art

"Grateful: (adjective)

    warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" - Dictionary.com 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 6: PERSPECTIVE

Happy Wednesday Y'all...

To say the last week has been an emotional one is an understatement. But just because it has been emotional does not mean it was a week to write off.

If you are not sure what I'm referring to you can read last week's blog (click here) to catch up.


I've seen so much beauty come out of a week of clearing out destruction and starting to rebuild lives. As is with most disasters, you see a gentleness and kindness come out in [most] people that may not show normally. As is true for the disaster that hit Middle Tennessee last week. We have had SOOOO many volunteers show up and the turn around has been crazy to watch. I am grateful I live in a place where people care for each other... politics aside, race aside, gender aside, all differences aside. It's a beautiful thing, and the way it is meant to be.

Because of all the work going on around here, I've tried to stay off the roads as much as possible. One, I didn't want to get in the way and two, it's super hard seeing the homes and buildings turned rubble. I think of the families and business owners that have a long road ahead of them and my heart hurts. I think of those who lost somebody and that ache it will continue to bring to their family. The businesses who are just trying to provide for themselves and their employees, and now everything is on hold... it's all hard stuff to process and empathy has got the best of me these days.

With that being said, I did have to drive in to town (what us country folk call our nearest town with a Walmart 😆) one evening this week. As I was driving home it had gotten dark and I needed my high beams to be able to see, which is definitely not unusual for country living. But something struck a chord this night. When I turned on my high beams I noticed so much more of what was around me. I saw more and I saw it more clearly. My perspective was different. When I had to switch back to my normal headlights everything narrowed; I saw less and what I did see was definitely less clear. And I had an AHA! moment...

When my perspective is widened and I see a broader picture it's easier to have understanding and be grateful. But when my view is narrow and unclear I tend to focus on the bits and pieces I can see and those become my focus because they're all I have. I'm finding that I have wasted a lot of time with a narrow perspective, but this journey to live a life of gratefulness has really stretched and started to broaden my view.

Yes, this week has been rough and yes, I'm processing through some anxiety from that stinkin' tornado... but every night when I sit down to journal I found myself having a long list of things to be grateful for.

NARROW PERSPECTIVE: fear, loss, anxiety, sadness
BROADENED PERSPECTIVE: community, love, kindness, hard work, unity, provisions, safety, hope, peace, rebuilding, and so much more.

So I want to encourage you this week... don't wait for a disaster to happen to begin to see beauty around you. Take a deep breath, look around, and be grateful for all that surrounds you. So when something does happen your heart and mind are already prepared to be grateful.

Things I was grateful for this week:

• Hearing and knowing the voice of the Lord.
• The therapy that cooking and playing the piano offers.
• Protection and provision.

"Grateful: (adjective)

    warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" - Dictionary.com 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 5: 2nd CHANCE

This week's post is going to be a bit shorter than usual...

If you follow me on social media, or have seen the news, you know that a pretty terrible tornado swept through Middle Tennessee in the early morning hours yesterday, March 3. It touched down in Nashville and made its way to Cookeville (approximately 50 miles, could be 2 separate tornadoes, they still are not sure) doing quite a lot of damage, and taking many lives.

My heart aches for the destruction that has happened, and the families that have lost people, pets, homes, and livelihoods. I'm grateful that the tornado did not turn towards my town, but not at the cost of the lives that were lost.

Here's what my heart is feeling the most thankful for today:

I have a chance to learn from this traumatic and terrifying experience. I just moved here a few months ago and I was not prepared for the fact that tornados would happen... this was an eye opening event. I now know that I need to put some measures in place for safety in this house, I need to get my emergency bags packed for me and my animals, and I need to be more aware...

 But I GET to do these things! 

I have a second chance. 

So today I am thanking the Lord for second chances. I'm thanking Him for being close to the broken hearted and comforting those who are suffering. I'm thankful I can be here to pray and serve. 

If you think of Middle Tennessee in the upcoming weeks, would you pray?

 And if you feel like you need to help in some way here is the link to an organization I love and trust, who are already on the ground helping as we speak: Convoy Of Hope

"Grateful: (adjective)

    warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" - Dictionary.com 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 4: PRACTICAL STEPS

It's that day of the week again... Happy Wednesday!

I cannot believe we are already finishing up the first month of this journey. It feels like I was just sitting on the couch last night when the Lord asked me to step in to this shift of heart and begin to walk in a renewed mind filled with gratefulness. And I'm learning that when I walk in a renewed mind, that is aligned with the Lord, I see the beauty in life... not just mine, but also the lives of the people around me.

Learning to live by scripture and not just read it is a daily choice... just like asking the Lord to do a work in your life and actually allowing Him to. Sometimes we say with our mouths that we want change, but our actions say "I'm fine right where I am.”And most of the time we are allowing our subconscious to choose. Our hearts really do long for change, but we've allowed our flesh to have so much control that we can't break through. That's why it's so important to renew our minds daily, positioning ourselves to be empowered by the Holy Spirit to make the choices that will bring fruit to our lives.

That's a lot of "how it should be" talk - I get it! So how do we get from that "should be" and make it a tangible "is"? Well thanks for asking... let me share some of the things I'm learning through on my journey:

1) CHOOSE: It's not a lie to choose to be grateful even when you do not FEEL grateful as you walk through this journey. Why? Because you are making the choice to change those natural feelings. When you start searching for things to be grateful for you are saying to your mind "THIS IS IMPORTANT AND THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DWELL ON!" Take command and push through those feelings!

2) PRACTICE: In the beginning it will feel like you're faking your way through... THAT IS OK! It's called practice, and practice makes perfect. You're not going to just wake up one day and be the best NBA or WNBA basketball star out there... nah, it's going to take work! You're going to grow in the areas that you give time and attention to. Just like in a garden, if you are not spending time watering and pruning and fertilizing, you are not going to get much of a harvest. So, if you want to be grateful and live a life of gratefulness, spend time on it and put energy in to it!

3) PRAY!: I can't emphasize this one enough! We literally cannot do this on our own. We are weak and gratefulness is not a natural response. We have to pray. We have to ask the Lord of Heaven and earth, the Creator of all things to help us. He knows us, He knows our hearts, and He knows what we need to do this. One of my favorite things to pray is:

 "Lord, I'm stuck! My mind wants to think differently than what You have 

asked me to think about. Please align me in this. Align me with Your Spirit! Help me to 

breathe in gratefulness and to exhale gratefulness back into this world. I want to produce

 good fruit and I can only do it with Your leading and help. Amen!"

4) BE AWARE: We live in a fast paced, busy world. It's super easy to skip through the day without going very deep. I know for me sometimes I get in bed at night and think "oh goodness the day is already over?" Time can be a cruel game, especially when you have a lot to fit in to it. BUT it is important that we stop and recognize what is going on around us. It grounds us. It helps us to realize there is a lot more good going on then we are giving credit to. And that leads to my last thought...

5) ACKNOWLEDGE: Recognizing the good going on around us, in us, through us, etc, is an important part of the process. But if we recognize it and don't acknowledge it we're wasting an opportunity to grow. One of the ways I like to acknowledge those things I'm finding myself being grateful for is obviously my journal. The process of writing down whats happening in this journey has really helped shift my thinking. It is helping me to cement in me all the things I'm doing in the previous steps. 

I know that's a lot to read through for a quick blog. But when I started this a month ago I really had not strategy except for that last step I shared. I knew I was going to write it down, but I didn't know how I was going to walk through the daily, moment-by-moment part of this journey. I'm finding that the more I walk, the more I learn. And being an Enneagram 1, when I learn something I like to share it with others so they can learn from my mistakes and victories.

I'll leave you with a few of my entries this week. Until next week my friends!

Things I was grateful for this week:

• My comfy bed and couch as I recovered from a dental fiasco (lol)
• Strengths and gifts inside of each of us. We make the world better when we use them.
• Social media... though it can be a distraction, it also connects us with people and gives us the opportunity to pray specifically for each other.

"Grateful: (adjective)

    warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" - Dictionary.com 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 3: CHANGE

Happy Wednesday!

I am so thankful that I am on this journey and that you are coming along with me. Not only does it help hold me accountable with following through in this process, but it also encourages me that Im not the only person wanting to change the world by changing my mindset first! I think a certain famous singer said it best:

"I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways, 

and no message could have been any clearer, 

IF YOU WANT TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE 

TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF AND THEN MAKE A CHANGE!"

Do I think gratefulness is powerful enough that it could change this world?

I believe that is dependent on if we it allow it to change us first. The reality is you can receive a gift from someone and say "thank you" and it just be an auto response that comes from your mouth... this is not the goal here. The goal is a shift in heart, not just in deeds. A transformation in mind, not just in words.

So, I pray that the Lord would begin to germinate this seed of gratefulness. I'm just starting out but I have already recognized several moments where my normal/natural responses would have been to be discouraged, upset, or annoyed, but instead I have quickly looked for a good in the moment. Let me share a quick example:

While I was "stuck" at home with my sick pup (see last blog) we were having some 

crazy weather where I live. There was snow, ice, heavy rains, flooding, etc. 

I was hearing about accident after accident on the roads and immediately I was so thankful

that I was at home safe instead of having to be out driving in the weather. 

Was this a huge thing to be grateful for? Probably not. But was it a change in heart from how I would normally respond? Most definitely! I am so glad that 3 weeks in to this journey I am already seeing mindsets shift. I am so grateful that this isn't the end, and I will continue to see growth. Because I really do want to see the world changed... and I know I won't make a difference in the world if I cannot first make a difference in myself.



Some things I was grateful for this week:

• My piano and the lessons I am taking to learn how to play it.
• The therapy of getting your hands dirty (or cooking lol) in the kitchen.
• Strategic days... one of my strengths is strategic planning, so to have a day set aside to do that is 👌🏻!!!!

"Grateful: (adjective)

    warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" - Dictionary.com 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 2: GRACE

As with most things in life, week 1 did not go as planned. 🤷🏼‍♀️ BUT that doesn't mean it was a fail!

I knew going in to this journey that it was going to be a process... no hopping on a plane and getting from point A to point B in a couple of hours, instead a trek up the side of a monstrous mountain. No short cuts, no easy ways out. I've gotta put work in and power through, all while remembering that this isn't just a class assignment but a life changing advancement I'm pursuing. Which leads me to this week...

The week started out easily enough. Everyday I was excited to sit down and journal what I had been grateful for that day. Starting out with the simple things like: "opened windows with fresh rainy air" or "my fireplace on a snowy night". (You'll probably find a lot of weather related gratefulness from me in the winter months because where I live it gets HOT in the summer, and thats not a fav of mine. 😂) Then I'd lead in to something deeper if I had one for the day: "this new journey! I have not felt excited for anything in many months, but this excites me!"

And then life happened... my sweet pup got very sick.

 I was up for 36 hours caring for him and cleaning up after him. I spent half the day at the vet and then came home and cared for him some more. It was a crazy rush of events that consumed my mind, my time, and my energy... and I didn't journal.

I considered going back and "making up" the days I'd missed by just quickly writing some basic things down, but in my heart I knew that would not be accomplishing what I set out to accomplish in this journey, so I didn't do it. For this enneagram 1, it's hard for me to look at my journal and see those days empty... but, it's a trek not a plane ride, and I need to remind myself what I pledged at the beginning of this:

"No pressure or shame for the process this is going to take me through."

So I'm starting this week fresh. 🙌🏻

My Thor boy (pup) is on the mend. He still needs quite a bit of my attention, but he's progressing. And I'm finally feeling caught up on sleep so I can refocus my mind and heart. I'm sure you can guess a few of the things I'm grateful for today: healthy pets and a comfy bed! 💗

I just want to encourage you who may be reading this and following along with me...

Don't despise the small beginnings. Yes, brush strokes might happen that don't match the picture in your mind, but just as our pal Bob Ross used to say:

Let your perspective be challenged and choose to be grateful for whatever you can find. I pray that this week we are challenged and stretched to grow in gratefulness... whatever that may look like in the moment!

"Grateful: (adjective)

    warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" - Dictionary.com 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 1: BEGINNINGS

Oh goodness... where, oh where to start?!?

I guess I'll let you in on WHAT I'm doing first...

I'm starting a journey. A journey that's been a long time coming. One that I am hoping will drastically change my life. One that will invite those around me to join in.

I'm on a trek to position my heart in a place of gratefulness.

Yes, that does sound very hippyish, lol. But I have felt in my heart for a while now a pulling to reassess and recalibrate my way of thinking... and I am hopeful that this is a step in that direction.

I'm calling this journey "A Journal To Gratefulness", with journal being a play on the word journey.

(cover of the journal... don't judge it's rugged taped corners lol)

This journal will be a place I visit everyday. It will house the things I'm grateful for, big or small. My goal is to eventually find myself immediately recognizing and being grateful for the wonders happening in my life instead of having to force myself to search them out when I'm overwhelmed.

If you follow me on social media you will have seen posts from me discussing the hard season I'm in, and the hard seasons I have walked through previously. I need my mind to get away from immediately seeing the heavy and carrying the weight of those situations, to instead recognizing the blessings that are in front of me. I believe it will make for a happier and healthier Nikki, who will be even more available when the Lord wants to use her.

With that being said, the daily goal is to write at least one thing down that I'm grateful for or that was a blessing each day. Doesn't matter if it is a dream coming true one day or just waking up and breathing the next... the goal is not to make something big happen everyday, but to acknowledge whatever the Lord doing in that moment! Which leads me to the part of the journal that all my list making, rule following friends will love: the PLEDGE portion.

This list is not to put restrictions on me, but to free me up from the part of my personality that likes to be in control, and there is room for this list to grow as time tells:

- Allow this to become a heart adjustment.
- No pressure or shame for the PROCESS this is going to take me through.
- No guidelines on what to be grateful for... it all counts.
- Allow for different seasons to play out without constraint.
- TRUST the Lord through this.
- Learn.
- Really celebrate these things... big or small.

(Be cheerful with joyous celebration in every season of life. 

Let joy overflow, for you are united with the Anointed One! Philippians 4:4 TPT)

I'm ready and I'm excited for this journey. I need it. I need a shift in thinking and in heart. And my guess is I'm not the only one that needs it. In fact, I really believe a people filled with gratefulness for the Lord, life, each other, etc would drastically change this world. So, I'm opening up this invitation to you as well. Will you join me on this journey?

I plan to write a weekly blog that discusses how the previous week went and share a few of the things I wrote in the journal that week. I would love for you to follow along with me and even share some of the things you're grateful for... so please feel free to use the hashtag #AJournalToGratefulness when sharing your experiences. I would love to include (with your permission) some of the things you share in my weekly blogs as well because I truly believe in the power of a testimony being shared.

So you ready? Because I am!

On your mark... get set... GO!

🙌🏻🎉💗