A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 5: 2nd CHANCE

This week's post is going to be a bit shorter than usual...

If you follow me on social media, or have seen the news, you know that a pretty terrible tornado swept through Middle Tennessee in the early morning hours yesterday, March 3. It touched down in Nashville and made its way to Cookeville (approximately 50 miles, could be 2 separate tornadoes, they still are not sure) doing quite a lot of damage, and taking many lives.

My heart aches for the destruction that has happened, and the families that have lost people, pets, homes, and livelihoods. I'm grateful that the tornado did not turn towards my town, but not at the cost of the lives that were lost.

Here's what my heart is feeling the most thankful for today:

I have a chance to learn from this traumatic and terrifying experience. I just moved here a few months ago and I was not prepared for the fact that tornados would happen... this was an eye opening event. I now know that I need to put some measures in place for safety in this house, I need to get my emergency bags packed for me and my animals, and I need to be more aware...

 But I GET to do these things! 

I have a second chance. 

So today I am thanking the Lord for second chances. I'm thanking Him for being close to the broken hearted and comforting those who are suffering. I'm thankful I can be here to pray and serve. 

If you think of Middle Tennessee in the upcoming weeks, would you pray?

 And if you feel like you need to help in some way here is the link to an organization I love and trust, who are already on the ground helping as we speak: Convoy Of Hope

"Grateful: (adjective)

    warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" - Dictionary.com 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 4: PRACTICAL STEPS

It's that day of the week again... Happy Wednesday!

I cannot believe we are already finishing up the first month of this journey. It feels like I was just sitting on the couch last night when the Lord asked me to step in to this shift of heart and begin to walk in a renewed mind filled with gratefulness. And I'm learning that when I walk in a renewed mind, that is aligned with the Lord, I see the beauty in life... not just mine, but also the lives of the people around me.

Learning to live by scripture and not just read it is a daily choice... just like asking the Lord to do a work in your life and actually allowing Him to. Sometimes we say with our mouths that we want change, but our actions say "I'm fine right where I am.”And most of the time we are allowing our subconscious to choose. Our hearts really do long for change, but we've allowed our flesh to have so much control that we can't break through. That's why it's so important to renew our minds daily, positioning ourselves to be empowered by the Holy Spirit to make the choices that will bring fruit to our lives.

That's a lot of "how it should be" talk - I get it! So how do we get from that "should be" and make it a tangible "is"? Well thanks for asking... let me share some of the things I'm learning through on my journey:

1) CHOOSE: It's not a lie to choose to be grateful even when you do not FEEL grateful as you walk through this journey. Why? Because you are making the choice to change those natural feelings. When you start searching for things to be grateful for you are saying to your mind "THIS IS IMPORTANT AND THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DWELL ON!" Take command and push through those feelings!

2) PRACTICE: In the beginning it will feel like you're faking your way through... THAT IS OK! It's called practice, and practice makes perfect. You're not going to just wake up one day and be the best NBA or WNBA basketball star out there... nah, it's going to take work! You're going to grow in the areas that you give time and attention to. Just like in a garden, if you are not spending time watering and pruning and fertilizing, you are not going to get much of a harvest. So, if you want to be grateful and live a life of gratefulness, spend time on it and put energy in to it!

3) PRAY!: I can't emphasize this one enough! We literally cannot do this on our own. We are weak and gratefulness is not a natural response. We have to pray. We have to ask the Lord of Heaven and earth, the Creator of all things to help us. He knows us, He knows our hearts, and He knows what we need to do this. One of my favorite things to pray is:

 "Lord, I'm stuck! My mind wants to think differently than what You have 

asked me to think about. Please align me in this. Align me with Your Spirit! Help me to 

breathe in gratefulness and to exhale gratefulness back into this world. I want to produce

 good fruit and I can only do it with Your leading and help. Amen!"

4) BE AWARE: We live in a fast paced, busy world. It's super easy to skip through the day without going very deep. I know for me sometimes I get in bed at night and think "oh goodness the day is already over?" Time can be a cruel game, especially when you have a lot to fit in to it. BUT it is important that we stop and recognize what is going on around us. It grounds us. It helps us to realize there is a lot more good going on then we are giving credit to. And that leads to my last thought...

5) ACKNOWLEDGE: Recognizing the good going on around us, in us, through us, etc, is an important part of the process. But if we recognize it and don't acknowledge it we're wasting an opportunity to grow. One of the ways I like to acknowledge those things I'm finding myself being grateful for is obviously my journal. The process of writing down whats happening in this journey has really helped shift my thinking. It is helping me to cement in me all the things I'm doing in the previous steps. 

I know that's a lot to read through for a quick blog. But when I started this a month ago I really had not strategy except for that last step I shared. I knew I was going to write it down, but I didn't know how I was going to walk through the daily, moment-by-moment part of this journey. I'm finding that the more I walk, the more I learn. And being an Enneagram 1, when I learn something I like to share it with others so they can learn from my mistakes and victories.

I'll leave you with a few of my entries this week. Until next week my friends!

Things I was grateful for this week:

• My comfy bed and couch as I recovered from a dental fiasco (lol)
• Strengths and gifts inside of each of us. We make the world better when we use them.
• Social media... though it can be a distraction, it also connects us with people and gives us the opportunity to pray specifically for each other.

"Grateful: (adjective)

    warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" - Dictionary.com 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 3: CHANGE

Happy Wednesday!

I am so thankful that I am on this journey and that you are coming along with me. Not only does it help hold me accountable with following through in this process, but it also encourages me that Im not the only person wanting to change the world by changing my mindset first! I think a certain famous singer said it best:

"I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways, 

and no message could have been any clearer, 

IF YOU WANT TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE 

TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF AND THEN MAKE A CHANGE!"

Do I think gratefulness is powerful enough that it could change this world?

I believe that is dependent on if we it allow it to change us first. The reality is you can receive a gift from someone and say "thank you" and it just be an auto response that comes from your mouth... this is not the goal here. The goal is a shift in heart, not just in deeds. A transformation in mind, not just in words.

So, I pray that the Lord would begin to germinate this seed of gratefulness. I'm just starting out but I have already recognized several moments where my normal/natural responses would have been to be discouraged, upset, or annoyed, but instead I have quickly looked for a good in the moment. Let me share a quick example:

While I was "stuck" at home with my sick pup (see last blog) we were having some 

crazy weather where I live. There was snow, ice, heavy rains, flooding, etc. 

I was hearing about accident after accident on the roads and immediately I was so thankful

that I was at home safe instead of having to be out driving in the weather. 

Was this a huge thing to be grateful for? Probably not. But was it a change in heart from how I would normally respond? Most definitely! I am so glad that 3 weeks in to this journey I am already seeing mindsets shift. I am so grateful that this isn't the end, and I will continue to see growth. Because I really do want to see the world changed... and I know I won't make a difference in the world if I cannot first make a difference in myself.



Some things I was grateful for this week:

• My piano and the lessons I am taking to learn how to play it.
• The therapy of getting your hands dirty (or cooking lol) in the kitchen.
• Strategic days... one of my strengths is strategic planning, so to have a day set aside to do that is 👌🏻!!!!

"Grateful: (adjective)

    warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" - Dictionary.com 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 2: GRACE

As with most things in life, week 1 did not go as planned. 🤷🏼‍♀️ BUT that doesn't mean it was a fail!

I knew going in to this journey that it was going to be a process... no hopping on a plane and getting from point A to point B in a couple of hours, instead a trek up the side of a monstrous mountain. No short cuts, no easy ways out. I've gotta put work in and power through, all while remembering that this isn't just a class assignment but a life changing advancement I'm pursuing. Which leads me to this week...

The week started out easily enough. Everyday I was excited to sit down and journal what I had been grateful for that day. Starting out with the simple things like: "opened windows with fresh rainy air" or "my fireplace on a snowy night". (You'll probably find a lot of weather related gratefulness from me in the winter months because where I live it gets HOT in the summer, and thats not a fav of mine. 😂) Then I'd lead in to something deeper if I had one for the day: "this new journey! I have not felt excited for anything in many months, but this excites me!"

And then life happened... my sweet pup got very sick.

 I was up for 36 hours caring for him and cleaning up after him. I spent half the day at the vet and then came home and cared for him some more. It was a crazy rush of events that consumed my mind, my time, and my energy... and I didn't journal.

I considered going back and "making up" the days I'd missed by just quickly writing some basic things down, but in my heart I knew that would not be accomplishing what I set out to accomplish in this journey, so I didn't do it. For this enneagram 1, it's hard for me to look at my journal and see those days empty... but, it's a trek not a plane ride, and I need to remind myself what I pledged at the beginning of this:

"No pressure or shame for the process this is going to take me through."

So I'm starting this week fresh. 🙌🏻

My Thor boy (pup) is on the mend. He still needs quite a bit of my attention, but he's progressing. And I'm finally feeling caught up on sleep so I can refocus my mind and heart. I'm sure you can guess a few of the things I'm grateful for today: healthy pets and a comfy bed! 💗

I just want to encourage you who may be reading this and following along with me...

Don't despise the small beginnings. Yes, brush strokes might happen that don't match the picture in your mind, but just as our pal Bob Ross used to say:

Let your perspective be challenged and choose to be grateful for whatever you can find. I pray that this week we are challenged and stretched to grow in gratefulness... whatever that may look like in the moment!

"Grateful: (adjective)

    warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful" - Dictionary.com 

A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 1: BEGINNINGS

Oh goodness... where, oh where to start?!?

I guess I'll let you in on WHAT I'm doing first...

I'm starting a journey. A journey that's been a long time coming. One that I am hoping will drastically change my life. One that will invite those around me to join in.

I'm on a trek to position my heart in a place of gratefulness.

Yes, that does sound very hippyish, lol. But I have felt in my heart for a while now a pulling to reassess and recalibrate my way of thinking... and I am hopeful that this is a step in that direction.

I'm calling this journey "A Journal To Gratefulness", with journal being a play on the word journey.

(cover of the journal... don't judge it's rugged taped corners lol)

This journal will be a place I visit everyday. It will house the things I'm grateful for, big or small. My goal is to eventually find myself immediately recognizing and being grateful for the wonders happening in my life instead of having to force myself to search them out when I'm overwhelmed.

If you follow me on social media you will have seen posts from me discussing the hard season I'm in, and the hard seasons I have walked through previously. I need my mind to get away from immediately seeing the heavy and carrying the weight of those situations, to instead recognizing the blessings that are in front of me. I believe it will make for a happier and healthier Nikki, who will be even more available when the Lord wants to use her.

With that being said, the daily goal is to write at least one thing down that I'm grateful for or that was a blessing each day. Doesn't matter if it is a dream coming true one day or just waking up and breathing the next... the goal is not to make something big happen everyday, but to acknowledge whatever the Lord doing in that moment! Which leads me to the part of the journal that all my list making, rule following friends will love: the PLEDGE portion.

This list is not to put restrictions on me, but to free me up from the part of my personality that likes to be in control, and there is room for this list to grow as time tells:

- Allow this to become a heart adjustment.
- No pressure or shame for the PROCESS this is going to take me through.
- No guidelines on what to be grateful for... it all counts.
- Allow for different seasons to play out without constraint.
- TRUST the Lord through this.
- Learn.
- Really celebrate these things... big or small.

(Be cheerful with joyous celebration in every season of life. 

Let joy overflow, for you are united with the Anointed One! Philippians 4:4 TPT)

I'm ready and I'm excited for this journey. I need it. I need a shift in thinking and in heart. And my guess is I'm not the only one that needs it. In fact, I really believe a people filled with gratefulness for the Lord, life, each other, etc would drastically change this world. So, I'm opening up this invitation to you as well. Will you join me on this journey?

I plan to write a weekly blog that discusses how the previous week went and share a few of the things I wrote in the journal that week. I would love for you to follow along with me and even share some of the things you're grateful for... so please feel free to use the hashtag #AJournalToGratefulness when sharing your experiences. I would love to include (with your permission) some of the things you share in my weekly blogs as well because I truly believe in the power of a testimony being shared.

So you ready? Because I am!

On your mark... get set... GO!

🙌🏻🎉💗

Our Pal Kanye...

Disclaimer: I don’t know all the answers

With that being said...

I have seen article after article, watched countless videos and clips, and seen multiple posts from friends or family discussing / dissecting what is going on in / with Mr. Kanye West. And it seems like cynicism has taken the lead on most people’s opinions. And I’m concerned...

First, if this is all a big show or scam , who cares?!? People are hearing Jesus’ name from a platform that has really not existed in our generation. So let God be lifted high, and let God deal with Kanye. 

Second, why is it our first response to be cynical when we see amazing things like this happen?!? Why are we constantly trying to snuff out the light of people trying to shine Jesus’ love? Why do we have to give Christianity such a negative view to the rest of the world? If we can’t support him through this, who will?

And third, it reminds me of Paul’s story in the Bible. He was famous and living crazy, like extreme crazy, when Jesus transformed him and commissioned him to ministry. Look at all of the accomplishments of Paul! His obedience has grown the body of Christ in amazing ways over the centuries, and continues to do so today. Why would God not want to do the same in the lives of others? Isn’t our God big enough to do such an amazing thing?

So I’m concerned about the state of the church... that our first reaction to someone getting radically saved and leading others to the Lord would be one of negativity instead of rejoicing! Shame on us. We need to celebrate this. We need to shout praises to the Lord from the mountain tops that He is good! Praise Him that His hand is on Kanye and that He has done such a work in His life! Thank you Jesus!!!

And in fact, I am believing for more celebrities to be saved! So let’s be praying for “Hollywood” to have a radical, empowered transformation because of Jesus. I believe there are many who are called to lead in pure, unadulterated revival. So when we see this breakthrough LET’S CELEBRATE it!!! Let’s be rejoicing for the Lord is good, and greatly to be praised!

Jesus, we want to see you made famous in all the earth. So Lord, we ask for a transforming movement to rush through the celebrities of our world. May they see You, know You, and love You. Let them have a deep revelation of Your love for them. And may they use their platforms to declare Your love. I pray you continue to work in Kanye’s life. Lord, would You encourage him to keep walking with You. Would You help him to show his children how to love you best. And would You let those around him see You moving and find You too! Come, Lord Jesus, come! Do what only You can do. And we will rejoice and celebrate how awesome You are! Amen.

• New Home • New Norm •

Well, I made it to TN. 

Am I overflowing with excitement? Honestly, no. I’m nervous. I’m lonely. And I am constantly trying to remind myself that the Lord knows far more than I ever could and He will honor my simple obedience. Those who have known me a while know that I am usually all for change and following the Lord in faith. But this time I’ve been nervous, anxious, stressed, and every emotion in the book. It’s been a true whirlwind!

When the Lord first spoke to me about coming to Tennessee I was fully excited for all the possibilities. I was expectant and hopeful. But over the last few months many things have transpired and it really has had an effect on my perspective. It’s been a battle down a narrow road with my hands lifted to the Father. My constant prayer right now is that the Lord would remind me of all the miracles (big and small) along the way to keep my perspective focused! 

Do I still believe the Lord called me here? 150%, not a doubt in my mind. Does that make this transition and change easier? Absolutely not! It’s going to be a process.

The next few months are going to consist of finding my new normal. I’ve got to build relationships, let go of expectations, make sure I can pay bills, let the Lord continue to work in me, find a renter for my spare room, write, paint, care for my animals, take care of a new house and car... and the list truly could go on...

And on...

And on!

I’m praying that this season bears much fruit. That my faith would grow in this small beginning and I would see His hand at work in miraculous ways. I am praying that I can be a blessing to people, and find friends who will be a blessing back. And that my trust in Him would far better outweigh my nerves! Because it’s going to be stretching for sure!

So if you’re reading this, would you pray with me? Would you believe with me? And if you think about me randomly one day, would you send me some encouragement... because the reality is it’ll probably be needed! It’s going to be a bumpy ride!