A Journal To Gratefulness... Week 1: BEGINNINGS

Oh goodness... where, oh where to start?!?

I guess I'll let you in on WHAT I'm doing first...

I'm starting a journey. A journey that's been a long time coming. One that I am hoping will drastically change my life. One that will invite those around me to join in.

I'm on a trek to position my heart in a place of gratefulness.

Yes, that does sound very hippyish, lol. But I have felt in my heart for a while now a pulling to reassess and recalibrate my way of thinking... and I am hopeful that this is a step in that direction.

I'm calling this journey "A Journal To Gratefulness", with journal being a play on the word journey.

(cover of the journal... don't judge it's rugged taped corners lol)

This journal will be a place I visit everyday. It will house the things I'm grateful for, big or small. My goal is to eventually find myself immediately recognizing and being grateful for the wonders happening in my life instead of having to force myself to search them out when I'm overwhelmed.

If you follow me on social media you will have seen posts from me discussing the hard season I'm in, and the hard seasons I have walked through previously. I need my mind to get away from immediately seeing the heavy and carrying the weight of those situations, to instead recognizing the blessings that are in front of me. I believe it will make for a happier and healthier Nikki, who will be even more available when the Lord wants to use her.

With that being said, the daily goal is to write at least one thing down that I'm grateful for or that was a blessing each day. Doesn't matter if it is a dream coming true one day or just waking up and breathing the next... the goal is not to make something big happen everyday, but to acknowledge whatever the Lord doing in that moment! Which leads me to the part of the journal that all my list making, rule following friends will love: the PLEDGE portion.

This list is not to put restrictions on me, but to free me up from the part of my personality that likes to be in control, and there is room for this list to grow as time tells:

- Allow this to become a heart adjustment.
- No pressure or shame for the PROCESS this is going to take me through.
- No guidelines on what to be grateful for... it all counts.
- Allow for different seasons to play out without constraint.
- TRUST the Lord through this.
- Learn.
- Really celebrate these things... big or small.

(Be cheerful with joyous celebration in every season of life. 

Let joy overflow, for you are united with the Anointed One! Philippians 4:4 TPT)

I'm ready and I'm excited for this journey. I need it. I need a shift in thinking and in heart. And my guess is I'm not the only one that needs it. In fact, I really believe a people filled with gratefulness for the Lord, life, each other, etc would drastically change this world. So, I'm opening up this invitation to you as well. Will you join me on this journey?

I plan to write a weekly blog that discusses how the previous week went and share a few of the things I wrote in the journal that week. I would love for you to follow along with me and even share some of the things you're grateful for... so please feel free to use the hashtag #AJournalToGratefulness when sharing your experiences. I would love to include (with your permission) some of the things you share in my weekly blogs as well because I truly believe in the power of a testimony being shared.

So you ready? Because I am!

On your mark... get set... GO!

🙌🏻🎉💗

Our Pal Kanye...

Disclaimer: I don’t know all the answers

With that being said...

I have seen article after article, watched countless videos and clips, and seen multiple posts from friends or family discussing / dissecting what is going on in / with Mr. Kanye West. And it seems like cynicism has taken the lead on most people’s opinions. And I’m concerned...

First, if this is all a big show or scam , who cares?!? People are hearing Jesus’ name from a platform that has really not existed in our generation. So let God be lifted high, and let God deal with Kanye. 

Second, why is it our first response to be cynical when we see amazing things like this happen?!? Why are we constantly trying to snuff out the light of people trying to shine Jesus’ love? Why do we have to give Christianity such a negative view to the rest of the world? If we can’t support him through this, who will?

And third, it reminds me of Paul’s story in the Bible. He was famous and living crazy, like extreme crazy, when Jesus transformed him and commissioned him to ministry. Look at all of the accomplishments of Paul! His obedience has grown the body of Christ in amazing ways over the centuries, and continues to do so today. Why would God not want to do the same in the lives of others? Isn’t our God big enough to do such an amazing thing?

So I’m concerned about the state of the church... that our first reaction to someone getting radically saved and leading others to the Lord would be one of negativity instead of rejoicing! Shame on us. We need to celebrate this. We need to shout praises to the Lord from the mountain tops that He is good! Praise Him that His hand is on Kanye and that He has done such a work in His life! Thank you Jesus!!!

And in fact, I am believing for more celebrities to be saved! So let’s be praying for “Hollywood” to have a radical, empowered transformation because of Jesus. I believe there are many who are called to lead in pure, unadulterated revival. So when we see this breakthrough LET’S CELEBRATE it!!! Let’s be rejoicing for the Lord is good, and greatly to be praised!

Jesus, we want to see you made famous in all the earth. So Lord, we ask for a transforming movement to rush through the celebrities of our world. May they see You, know You, and love You. Let them have a deep revelation of Your love for them. And may they use their platforms to declare Your love. I pray you continue to work in Kanye’s life. Lord, would You encourage him to keep walking with You. Would You help him to show his children how to love you best. And would You let those around him see You moving and find You too! Come, Lord Jesus, come! Do what only You can do. And we will rejoice and celebrate how awesome You are! Amen.

• New Home • New Norm •

Well, I made it to TN. 

Am I overflowing with excitement? Honestly, no. I’m nervous. I’m lonely. And I am constantly trying to remind myself that the Lord knows far more than I ever could and He will honor my simple obedience. Those who have known me a while know that I am usually all for change and following the Lord in faith. But this time I’ve been nervous, anxious, stressed, and every emotion in the book. It’s been a true whirlwind!

When the Lord first spoke to me about coming to Tennessee I was fully excited for all the possibilities. I was expectant and hopeful. But over the last few months many things have transpired and it really has had an effect on my perspective. It’s been a battle down a narrow road with my hands lifted to the Father. My constant prayer right now is that the Lord would remind me of all the miracles (big and small) along the way to keep my perspective focused! 

Do I still believe the Lord called me here? 150%, not a doubt in my mind. Does that make this transition and change easier? Absolutely not! It’s going to be a process.

The next few months are going to consist of finding my new normal. I’ve got to build relationships, let go of expectations, make sure I can pay bills, let the Lord continue to work in me, find a renter for my spare room, write, paint, care for my animals, take care of a new house and car... and the list truly could go on...

And on...

And on!

I’m praying that this season bears much fruit. That my faith would grow in this small beginning and I would see His hand at work in miraculous ways. I am praying that I can be a blessing to people, and find friends who will be a blessing back. And that my trust in Him would far better outweigh my nerves! Because it’s going to be stretching for sure!

So if you’re reading this, would you pray with me? Would you believe with me? And if you think about me randomly one day, would you send me some encouragement... because the reality is it’ll probably be needed! It’s going to be a bumpy ride!

People Over Politics

Last week was the 32nd time I celebrated Independence Day. In all my years of been born in, growing up, and living in the USA I have witnessed some deep lows and some exciting victories for this country. New things happening everyday. But, one thing remains the same... there have always been and will always be people with opinions and views that are different from mine.

In my teenage years I remember watching the people around me speak about political things and beginning to form an opinion of my own. Then in college I really started owning that opinion. I would get in debates / arguments, and both sides would walk away having accomplished nothing really. But when social media came in to play, it made that whole scenario worse. All of a sudden everyone's opinions and views were THE ONLY WAY and we stopped listening to each other. Facebook became a place to repost articles (whether true or false) without researching their origins. The way we worded posts became less about sharing an opinion and more about shaming and condemning those whose opinions differed from ours. Our courtesy and kindness left, while we put politics on a pedestal.

Today I open Facebook and see a minimum of 5 political posts in a quick scroll down the page. And my heart aches. Not because people shouldn't have opinions; not because their opinions are different from mine. My heart aches because every post I see makes me think "who did that post just exclude from being able to ever hear the gospel message from that person?"

Our words (and actions) have consequences. And if our political views are 

keeping us from being able to share the message of Jesus' love in this world... 

well, then we are doing something wrong.

Pride has caused us to make our politics more important than people. Some use the excuse that they are political to help people, but Hebrews 7:19 tells us that is not the way it works: "For the law has never made anyone perfect, but in its place is a far better Hope which gives us confidence to experience intimacy with God." 

I do find myself leaning towards conservative in my political views. But as the years have progressed in my life I have learned that sometimes the things Jesus wants to do are not conservative. And so I have asked the Lord to help me position my heart with His. My allegiance is NOT to a political party, a president, governor, senator, or any other office. Does that mean I don't care about political things? Nah. It just means they aren't my god. And I'm not perfect in it, I still will get fired up about something and feel the urge to make my opinions known... but thankfully those moments come less and less. Because I really want my life to be about loving people more than proving people wrong... and I hope I can encourage some people around me to have the same goal.

I truly pray you don't receive this blog as a condemning word, but a word of encouragement. We've got to make some changes so we can reach this world and offer it the Hope that we have... our Hope is Jesus. So, if you must say something (really about any topic) take a step back and consider the path your words might take. Will they lead people in love, or will they stir up strife?

And if you do decide to make a post on social media just remember this old southern saying: "put a little honey on it." Meaning, people will receive sweet and gently spoken words of grace far better than dumping harsh, condemning words down their throats. So don't let your opinions and politics drive a irreversible wedge between you and those God has given you to love and reach. There is a verse in Proverbs that warns us of this very thing: "It is easier to conquer a strong city than to win back a friend whom you've offended. (Pr 18:19)".

My hope is that you are encouraged to encourage. And that by encouraging we will see fruit begin to sprout in our lives. Let's fill this world with the love of our sweet Jesus. 

| What are you using your platform for? | What are you shouting from the rooftops? |

Hope Changes

It's hard for the world to agree on anything now days. From religion to politics to vaccines to the environment, there are so many differing opinions with so many differing perspectives. And I am MOST DEFINITELY not here to say one is right and one is wrong... but one thing we all have succumb to is that the world we live in is a crazy and intense mess.

I've been thinking a lot about how the world reacts/responds when disastrous events take place. I see a theme when I look back through all the ones I've been alive for...

HOPE

For some reason, in the midst of sorrow and grief we begin to care for each other without bias. For a brief moment in time we forget the disagreements and tend to the wound that has been created. We cry together and we start rebuilding together. But most of all we come together in hope for tomorrow.

And then reality sinks in and in a flash we enter in to the quick sand of opinions and theories and disagreements. We forget about the PEOPLE and begin to stare at the DIFFERENCES. All at once that moment of hope comes crashing down. I believe this to be a big offensive play by the enemy. Why? Because hope united empowers a world to make change and to care for one another; hope divided can only bring ruin.

I was watching Hunger Games the other day when the character President Snow said something that hit me in this thought processing:

"A Little hope is effective, a lot of hope is dangerous. 

A spark is fine, as long as it's contained."

Let that sit with you for a second. 

The enemy knows that if he can keep our hope contained and distracted he won't have to worry about anything changing. But I'm calling his bluff. I believe in the God who created us. I believe in His word. And when I read Hebrews 10:23-24 I believe in our ability to not only hope but to protect our hope so it can grow and spread...

"So now wrap your heart tightly around the hope that lives 

within us, knowing that God always keeps His promises! 

Discover creative was to encourage others and to motivate 

them toward acts of compassion. doing beautiful works as 

expressions of love."

... not just in times of tragedy. But at all times. We can rise above and we can hope. It's our choice. Especially as believers and followers of Jesus. We get the chance to LEAD THE WORLD IN HOPE!

So next time you scroll by a post on social media that doesn't share the same thought as you, instead of responding with a battle cry of division try encouraging that person. Instead of staring at the mom  with a screaming toddler and judging her parenting, offer a hand. Do something. Make the choice to stir up hope. Don't sit back and wait for the world to self implode when you have the ability to change it... because you do!

Thanks for reading through my thoughts today.

Jesus, help us to love You and to love others because of You. Let hope arise in our hearts and spread like a wildfire in the world. Amen!

No More

There once was a girl who barely knew how to smile. She carried so much sadness and hurt in her heart that it seemed the weight of the whole world. She saw nothing as a positive and dwelt in a land of negativity. There was so much fear in her heart that if she cared too deeply for people she would lose them or they would fail her. She believed if she were to show excitement about something, it would never come to pass. Things happened in her life that she never felt she could talk about. People let her down and she had to deal with it. Words and actions were heavy... and this had an effect on her whole life.

I was that girl. That is my story.

But not anymore. The same God who created me with purpose also healed me and set me free.

Why am I sharing this today? Why does this seem important in this moment?

BECAUSE I’M STILL STANDING! 

I was not defeated. The enemy didn’t take me out; people’s failures didn’t destroy me; I was not conquered by the heaviness of my youth. Depression did not win!

And because I’m still standing, I am believing that you can overcome as well. I believe the same God that healed, restored, and freed me wants you to have the same. So much so, that Jesus paid a price we could never fathom to get us through whatever it is that hinders us. 

So today I’m calling out darkness in the name of Jesus! I’m not going to live my life with any trace of those chains, and I’m praying you’ll make that choice as well.

In the name of Jesus:

depression be broken off

pain disperse

fear say goodbye

anxiety hit the road

bitterness be uprooted

unforgiveness be wiped away

heaviness be traded in 

doubt flee

There is NO room for any of that in the Kingdom of God 

and there is no place for it in the child of God! Amen!

Enough is enough. We've let it get out of control. Suicide rates are astronomical, depression medications are soaring. People are hurting, the world is hurting, and we are sitting in our church sanctuaries singing songs and listening to sermons, BUT we aren't putting it to action! 

It's time we offer hope to the hopeless, freedom to the captive, healing to the broken, and show them the Savior. And it’s not about living the perfect life, never experiencing sorrow, hurt, or mistakes... but it is about not dwelling in those things. It is about knowing who we were created to be, and trusting that precious Creator to lead us. Knowing how to brush the sand from our feet, and rising up in grace and humility, to fulfill the call of God on our lives.

I read this verse last night:

“But whether I live or die is not important, for I don’t esteem my life as indispensable. It’s more important for me to fulfill my destiny and to finish the ministry my Lord Jesus has assigned to me, which is to faithfully preach the wonderful news of God’s Grace.” 

Acts 20:24

Can we get over ourselves? Remember what Jesus brought us out of? And then think about the people who have yet to experience His love? 

And so today I am going to do just that. I’m going to stop worrying about my life and the effects of everything happening to me or around me. And instead I will remember the people around the world that need me to be a reflection of Him to them. I’m going to step in to my destiny and I’m going to carry His presence with me.... 

Will you join me? 

Someone needs you to show them the way too!

The Roots

I was riding on a bus through rural Costa Rica... doing as I usually do on car rides, gazing out of the window and taking in the scenery. I happened to look over at this larger tree with very thick roots coming out of the edge of a cliff. And then I noticed several smaller trees along that same ledge. They were much smaller, a lot weaker looking, and their roots were not as deep or fully developed. But what I noticed next is really what spoke to my heart...

The roots from that bigger, stronger, and older tree were coming out of the ground to support and protect those newer trees. Giving them room to grow, to branch out, and yet keeping their root system secure. And then I heard the Lord say:

 “In order for this next generation to succeed and grow 

in depth and strength the previous generation was going to need

 to support and protect their growing process.”

(Disclaimer: this is not the original tree... I tired to capture something similar, 

but this is not as extravagant as the first I saw.)

Often times we see animosity in the midst of differing generations. We can see blame tossed to and fro on both ends of the spectrum. I believe this is to the detriment of the body of Christ and, as a cause and effect of that, a problem for us in reaching the world.

We have to stop. We have to stop arguing, stop pointing fingers, stop focusing on the negative. And instead we need to begin loving one another, learning and growing from each other. I believe this word from the Lord is timely and important. 

Younger generations:

Humble yourselves... we don’t know everything. We have much we can glean from the generations before. There is opportunity before us to grow and allow our roots to deepen and strengthen. For us to be beneficial in this earth we must allow the knowledge, wisdom, and discernment of those whose lives have experienced much to help guide us and mature us. Don’t allow pride to get in the way of what the Lord is wanting to do.

Elder generations:

Please be patient with us. We have not experienced all that you have, but we also aren’t helpless. Help us to find the balance of learning and growing along side of using the knowledge we have already obtained. Please pray for us, love us, and offer opportunity for us to soak in all that you have to offer us. We can’t do this without you, and your mission and journey aren’t over yet.

I also feel this is a specific call to families. As the leaders of your family, establish your roots in Christ. Cultivate the atmosphere with submission to Him, His plan, and His presence. Let Him deepen your roots. And in doing so, you will not only set an example but a precedence for your family following behind. You will establish a fortress of protection for them to grow their roots in a healthy way.

I don’t know the whole picture, I’m only human and can only see in part, but I do know that if the Lord is making a point to speak about something IT IS IMPORTANT. So let’s heed this message, this opportunity and see what all the Lord has up His sleeve in the days to come.