Who Is He?

"Then he asked them, 'But who do you say I am?' ” 

(Matthew 16:15 NLT)

As I am reading through Matthew in my Bible I come to this verse and I stop. Because it catches my eyes and my heart. And I think, "who do I say He is?" I sit for a moment and ponder this question and then I continue to read.

After Jesus asks His disciples who they say He is, Peter's response comes quickly: "... the Messiah, the Son of the living God." And Jesus says to Peter that He did not discover this truth on his own, but the Father has revealed it to Him. And I stop again. It's a selah moment.

I ask myself, who has God revealed Himself to be in/to me? I think of so many circumstances in my life (some great and some not so great) and I look for Him in those moments. I recognize Him revealing Himself to me in many different ways, in many different circumstances. And I begin to make note of all the amazing attributes of God that have touched my life:

Father

Friend

Healer

Debt Eraser

Lover of my Soul

Provider

Confidant

My Constant

Comfort

Warrior 

Victorious King

And my list kept growing. You see, Peter knew who Jesus was because the Father revealed  it to Him, and the same goes for me. Through every moment in my life the Lord has shown Himself faithful and revealed a little more about Who He is to me. From the first encounter I had with Him and finding His love for me was not just an emotion, but love is His very nature! To seeing Him provide in miraculous ways in my life, to Him healing my body... and so much more. 

In every season there is a new thing to learn about who He is and who we are in Him. And when I think about the Father revealing to Peter the identity of Christ, I can also clearly picture the part that follows where He reveals to Peter who Peter is. It's so much easier for us to know who we are as individuals when we allow God to show us who He is first. Reminds me of a few chapters previous where Jesus says to "seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." ( Matthew 6:33) 

I think I felt like I needed to share this today because someone is struggling finding who God is and who they are in Him. And I want you to know that He is faithful to reveal Himself. Look for His hand at work in your life even in the smallest of things. And if at first you can't see it, look again! Because He is there and He is working and He will reveal Himself to you. When He reveals Himself to you, you will begin to know who you are and what you are worth to Him. And my prayer is that as He reveals Himself to you, you will fall so in love with Him and your life will be forever marked by the infinite awe of all He is!

What's The Take Away?

If you have ever met me, ever had a conversation with me, I am certain at some point in our exchange of words that I brought up South Africa. How am I certain about that? Because what the Lord did in my life in that country 13 years ago CHANGED ME! Those who knew me pre-SA 2004 can testify to that last statement. It was not just a slight change that maybe affected me, it was a complete and total overhaul of my mind, heart, and soul. I entered that country broken, physically and spiritually; I left healed and whole! I had hurt and shame on my shoulders, but the Lord lifted it up off of me and filled me with His joy. The change in me permeated my entire life and being.

I preface with all of that because I got back from my second trip to South Africa this week. I am having a hard time re-adjusting to home because my heart keeps longing to wake up back there. I find myself in a processing stage, and it seems the more I process the more I find reasons to be in that beautiful country. I wanted to take a few minutes though to share some of the amazing things that God showed me, taught me, or used me for on this trip.

1) This trip was not about me.

    

   When the Lord called me to SA back in 2004 it was very obvious that I needed His touch in my life, because I was needing some major healing. And He did it! He was faithful and I found the freedom I was searching for. But this time around I knew going in to the trip that God had other plans in store. I asked Him daily to use me to carry His joy and love to the people around me. I just wanted to serve and honor. And the honest truth, I feel so filled up having spent 10 days doing just that. But it wasn't about me feeling full, it was about those I came in contact with needing to experience the full on joy of the Lord. 

    One of my favorite examples of this was a child that I found swinging by herself at one of the care centers. She had no smile, really no expression at all. And I knew that sweet girl needed the Lord to touch her. I didn't ask her if I could hold her, I walked over and picked her up and hugged her. She rested her head on my chest and I prayed that the Lord would fill her up. At some point I had put her down and lost sight of her. But as we were leaving to our van, there she was waiting on the side of that dirt road. I walked over and said, "Oh my friend!" and picked her up in my arms to give a big hug! When I put her down to leave she had the biggest smile on her face. And as I turned around I heard this sweet voice say, "bye friend!" You better believe I was a puddle! This child that would not smile 20 minutes prior, now had found her smile and a friend. This is why I went on this trip.

2) Testimony releases faith.

    I had been feeling the Lord preparing me to share my testimony a month or so before I left. I am always so ready to share my testimony because I know how encouraging it is to hear from someone who has gone through something similar to you and has come out on the other side. I also think a lot about the scripture in Revelation 12 that talks about overcoming the enemy by the blood of the Lamb and the word of the testimony. There is power in testimony. Something happens in our spirit when testimonies are released and it builds our hope and faith.

    So every opportunity I got I shared my story. I shared the power of the Lord in my life. I rejoiced with people who were currently struggling through something, that God was already working. I asked the Lord to let the words of my story offer a peace in the midst of someone's uphill battle. And I saw Him do that. It was amazing the quickness in which He worked too. It didn't take me an hour of testifying for faith to arise, it would happen in minutes. It was really truly amazing and miraculous!

3) Some times tangible hugs are better than words.

    There were many moments that I felt like my words were not enough. Someone telling you how they felt they were failing at life and felt so defeated and overcome, it's hard to find the right thing to say. A couple of times this happened to me on the trip and I felt the need to just hug and hold them. A hug can be a very powerful and anointed thing. It can break down a barrier that someone has put up and open the door for a receptive heart. I want to always remember that hugs are a tool that we often neglect, and be more aware of when that tool may be needed.

and lastly... (for right now anyway lol)

4) Honor is important.

    The first Sunday we were in SA, we spent it in The Big Tent in Jo Burg. It was a special day because the church had come together to honor the 40th wedding anniversary of their Pastors, Bishop and Pastor Maggie. I watched in awe as person after person and couple after couple spoke words of life and honor over their pastors. It was amazing. It was powerful. It was a deep service. The service lasted for 5 hours... yep, you read that right, 5 hours! INCREDIBLE! 

     But the honoring was not just because they had stayed married for 40 years, the honoring was taking place because of all they had accomplished through their marriage. The many couples who shared of the spiritual mother and father that parented them in the Kingdom. It was amazing. They showered them with gifts and money and hugs and tears. 

    And it got me thinking... we are missing that in America. Often times the church congregation views the pastors as someone there to tend to our needs and so they must answer to us. But I believe we are missing out on some blessings because we don't revere and honor our spiritual leaders. God has ordained them and anointed them to do a heavy and hard job. We need to not only acknowledge that, but lift them up and encourage them. There is something to be said about a church that, doesn't worship their pastor, but honors the person God has ordained. 

So with all of that said, I'm still processing through. Everyday I remember something else the Lord did and asking Him to teach me through it. But mostly, I am thinking about the people and how much love I have for them. If someone put a check in front of me right now for a large sum of money, I would quickly be back on that long flight to SA. If I've said it once I've said it a million times: When you leave Africa you never really fully leave. There is always a part of your heart that remains there.  

And until next time, I will push in to the Lord and ask Him to do in me all that needs to be done so I can be ever more effective when He does send me back!

What Are You Fighting?

In light of the nation's present standings, I have been spending much time thinking about, praying for, and lingering in the battle between "sides". Over the last couple of months I have read countless blogs, journals, articles, and social media posts that not only enrage me emotionally, but stir up a righteous anger in me. But contrary to popular belief I have not found myself leaning one way over the other. I read things from both ends of the spectrum, agreeing with some and whole-heartedly disagreeing with a lot from both.

And this has been the place where I have felt a huge tug-a-war going on inside of me, which has made it difficult to pray at times. I don't like my country being disgraced but I also do not agree with having more passion in patriotism than in our relationships with Jesus. So many people are hurting and it just seems like we can't get past this place, this moment in time... and then I had this moment of revelation. I was reading an Instagram post by someone at Bethel and they shared a verse in Ephesians. I decided to look it up and compare translations. When I read this translation it really clicked:

"Our fight is not with people. It is against the leaders and the powers and the spirits of darkness in this world. It is against the demon world that works in the heavens." Ephesians 6:12 (New Life Version)

WOW! Why are we so angry at each other? Why are we arguing about athletes kneeling during the anthem? Why are we outraged over stupid comments people make? Why are we spending more time being offended at each other instead of breaking off the chains of the real enemy? Speaking to myself here as well!

Our pettiness has reached an all new level of surreal, and I am so thankful that the Lord has opened my eyes to this tonight. We need to address the root. We need to align ourselves with the Spirit of God and follow His guidance in prayer. What if we spent 5 minutes in the morning putting on the armor of God to avoid allowing the schemes of the enemy to deceive us. That way when someone says something that would naturally offend or get us riled up, because that is inevitable, we would already be prepared to let those arrows bounce off. How about that for not bringing glory to the enemy? What if we spent our time focused on the Lord and what His heart is instead of letting the enemy be exalted through our petty flesh?

There are people out there really, truly hurting. People who do not know Jesus and the hope and joy that He gives. But if I am being completely honest right now, for the most part they aren't seeing a great representation of His hope and joy in His church right now. Church, we have to rise up. We have to fight for this nation in the ONLY way that will benefit it, by humbling ourselves and praying! We want healing? Then let's follow the guidance the Lord has already given us in His word (2 Chronicles 7:14).

I am asking you right now to join me in repentance and battle. May we stop focussing our vigor on each other, and may we turn our fight towards the real enemy! I believe we can see a healed nation. I believe God will still move in a mighty way. And I believe that if we can align ourselves rightly that He can do it quickly! Join me in joining Him!

Together We Are Better

I'm pondering the world events that are and have taken place over the last few months; from rallies, to protests, to natural disasters. I am thinking about all the notifications that have popped up on my phone telling me when another bombing has happened. And then I think about all the news reports and headlines about what this politician has done and what that politician has said. So many pointed fingers that have stirred up so many arguments and debates. I don't understand it all, and I'm not even going to try. But I think there is a lesson for humanity in it all and I want to dig into it a bit.

I grew up in the same area where I was born. We never really left the borders of where we lived, where our church was, my grandparent's house, and the grocery store. But when I was 14 I had the opportunity to go on my first missions trip to the country of El Salvador. As I prepared for my trip I had no concept of what it would be like, not just the scenery but the people, the culture, and the atmosphere. I had never traveled so I didn't have a basis to form conclusions. I left American soil with a very narrow outlook.

When we arrived my eyes were quickly opened wide within minutes of stepping off the plane. I could feel so much hurting, poverty, and discord. I think back to our first conversations with the missionaries and their warnings for us to not look people on the streets in the eyes because it would entice a challenge; or that hand gestures we as Americans thought of as friendly waves actually representing calls for prostitutes there. My mind was blown. How could so much strife exist so plainly, I thought. But then the information continued. We learned of battles between neighborhoods, the Guerrillas against the military, and even battles between the Catholics and Protestants. On top of all of that, the country had suffered thousands, not just one or two, THOUSANDS of earth quakes in the beginning of the year. Leaving the already unstable country in shambles. At one point while we were on our bus we had military men with automatic rifles jump on to offer "protection" from the neighborhood we were driving through. 

At 14, that is a lot of information and activity to process through. I was having a hard time looking at the people as people and not just seeing situations. But then we held our first ministry service. And my perspective cleared up a bit. The foggy precepts faded to the sides as I watched hurting people unite together in the presence of the Lord. I watched them serve each other food, hold each other as they cried, and literally lift each others arms up in worship. I remember thinking how amazing it was that all of this craziness was going on around them and yet they gathered together and hope was shining bright. To me that says unity enables hope. It was when they were together for the same purpose, to reach the same goal that unity overcame the heaviness of the it all.

If we stop and look back at Jesus' time here on the earth we can see that He knew the necessity of unity, being together. He is the Lord and He still chose to gather with His disciples to change this world. He didn't just choose to be around the people who talked most like Him, or the ones who looked like Him. He chose to encounter men and women of all kinds... because their differences did not negate that they were people who needed love.

"How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!"

 Psalm 133:1

About a month after I got back from El Salvador 9/11 happened and my theory was proven. I watched as our country stopped the politics, stopped the finger pointing, stopped the words filled with hate, and in place of all that junk they loved each other, they fought for each other, they were unified. In times of real struggles, people will come together. 

And when I reflect back to where our country currently stands it proves my theory all over again. Yes, there are not so wholesome, and some down right inhumane things happening in our nation. There are some people who's ideologies and perceptions of the world are completely out of whack, with extremism on each side. There are politics that we do not agree on, and there are politicians we do not like. BUT, when we have groups of people, from every background, gathering together in Texas at this very moment to save as many people as possible in a natural disaster, it says something. People driving from thousands of miles away to bring their boats to rescue those stuck in the floods. People sending clothes, food and money to help offer some hope. Not caring what color, shape, size, sex, or age they are. They are united together and it is creating an aroma of hope.

So I think my point in writing all this is to say: when the flood waters fade back from Texas, and the world returns to a (semi) normal state, people are still going to be people. We will disagree at times; we will all have our own ways of thinking. But I urge you, to not let your perspective narrow. Remind yourself daily, maybe even hourly, that our differences and disagreements don't matter when it comes to the important stuff, and it shouldn't take us waiting till the next natural disaster to recognize it. If we will just take the time to love each other past all of that, unity will happen and hope will be stirred. We aren't too far gone, and we can still accomplish so much together! And together we are a better country, family, friend, neighbor, person!

Where Will My Help Come From?

In the past few months I have been going through a transformation of mind, or maybe I should say a renewing. You see, my whole life I have been someone who would fight for what I thought was right, or just. It really irked me all the way to the core when someone would say something false about someone, anyone. I would be quick to correct them and let them know it wasn't ok. It's this justice thing inside of me.

But lately... the Lord started speaking to me about me allowing Him to fight my battles: "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent. (Exodus 14:14)" Silent?!?! Do you know how hard it is for me to be silent? ESPECIALLY if someone is not acting justly! At first this lesson seemed hard. How was I going to be able to just not speak my mind in situations that I felt deserved it? How would I be able to sit by idly and let things happen? But the Lord is faithful... if He is going to take us through a lesson, there will be grace for us to learn through it.

It started off with smaller things, someone would say something and I would be quick to want to speak but the still small voice of the Lord would be quick to remind me, "I've got this battle!" Then some bigger things happened, to the point where I scheduled meetings to address them, and the Lord reminded me: "I will fight this battle, let Me be the implementer of justice!" And so I cancelled meetings to be obedient to what the Lord was teaching me.

And then something big happened. A situation that took my breath away... literally. Something that in my heart was not justified. And it hurt. And it confused me. But most of all, it made me want to stand up for myself. I wanted to come against every negative thing that had been said against me. But in the midst of it, I could feel the presence of the Lord. I could hear His voice saying: "Let Me justify you!" So I am.

Was it easy to not fight? No! Did I ask questions? Definitely. Did I get emotional and shed tears? FOR SURE! I think this scenario was one of the hardest things I've been through, outside of my health. But can I just say again how faithful the Lord is? Because He is so good.This whole time He knew these situations were coming and though my mind and emotions felt blown away and confused, my heart knew the Lord was at work.

I love how He began to prepare me to not fight. He started teaching me months ago in little things to let Him have it. So when I reached this pinnacle moment, my heart was already ready to let Him take the reigns. Like I said previously, just because my heart was prepared doesn't mean it was an easy thing. But what it does mean is that I can focus on the Lord filling me up instead of focussing on having to prove myself to those around me.

This scripture comes to mind today: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)" Instead of letting myself be robbed by the enemy and his schemes, I get to be full of the abundant life the Lord has for me. I get to trust that His plan is already at work because I have given my life over to His hands.

I just want to encourage you if you're reading this: Sometimes this world and the people in it will smack us around, but our hope does not lie in them, our hope lies in the Lord. And when we place our lives (hurts, fears and joys) into His hands, we can trust that we will prosper (Jeremiah 29:11) and He will work all things out for our good (Romans 8:28).

My journey isn't over, I've still got many lessons to learn along the way I'm sure. But one thing is certain, I have learned that letting God fight for me is way more beneficial for me and the people around me!

Here's To Health

Many of you read my update a couple of months ago about my health journey over the last couple of years. I wanted to take some time to post a second update and then share some exciting things that are on the horizon in this season of my life. So here we go...

First, I just want to let you know that God is good. I am amazed at His faithfulness, provision and that He still speaks to us. Though He is mighty and the King of Kings, He still wants to just love on us and bless us. He's just so good!

With that being said, if you will recall from my last health update blog (A Journey None the Less), my migraines are gone! Haven't had an episode since those darn teeth came out! And the next part to my healing process was to "figure out" a solution for the pain coming from the cysts continually growing on my ovaries and then bursting. I'm not going to lie, there were a couple of times, even after the Lord did amazing things to help rid me of the migraines, that I felt like the cramping would never go away and hope left my heart. But, like I said before, HE IS FAITHFUL!

I gave up on my doctors because they kept telling me there was nothing they could do and I was tired of going to appointments every week for no reason. So I prayed. And I prayed. And then I had an epiphany (which really was a word from the Lord). I was laying on the couch taking a nap when out of no where I started cramping horribly. I wish I could truly describe the pain it caused when the cysts would burst, but the best way I can try is to say it felt similar to what I would assume a horse with needles attached to it's hooves jumping up and down on the insides of my body would feel like. It's rough!

So as I was trying to find a sitting or laying position to get some relief or comfort I had a thought (the epiphany or word from the Lord)... "what was going on in my life when the cramping started?"

I had never, in this entire process or season, thought about this. And as soon as I thought it I felt hope stir in my heart. I could feel a life changing moment about to happen. So I thought about the timeline (which is not an easy task when you're in pain) and I prayed and asked the Lord to direct my thought process. And I realized that around the time these issues started I had stopped taking a supplement I had been taking to deal with a gall bladder issue. You see I had been taking Magnesium everyday (with some apple sauce) for months and when the gall bladder issue was resolved I decided to stop taking the magnesium. Within a month's time the cramping started.

When I realized there could be a correlation there you better believe I picked up the lap top and started googling the effects of a lack of magnesium on women's health. SO MANY ARTICLES described the necessity of magnesium in women! I could not even believe that yet again it might just be that easy! I clicked over to amazon real quick and ordered some magnesium!

Another thing that was sticking out in the articles was the importance of vitamin D in women's health. I'll spare you the details of what it helps with, but let's just say it helps things flow. And with the knowledge from my doctors having tested my vitamin D several times and explaining that it was almost non existent in my body, I went ahead and ordered some of that as well. I think at this moment I probably cried because in my heart I felt like this was my solution.

I started taking the supplements as soon as they came and within 2 weeks the cramping had subsided. I waited for my next cycle to see what would happen, and described to close friends that I felt like I was kind of walking on egg shells with this process; I didn't want to get too excited and then it fail but I also wanted to rejoice over every little victory. When my cycle came, I cramped but I could feel the difference! This was normal. This was how my body was supposed to be responding. I was nervously waiting for the last day so I could see what would happen next, and praise the Lord, there was no cramping. It has now been a couple of months without unnecessary cramps and I just feel so grateful!

You see, God is still our healer! He may use divine, miraculous healing, or doctors and medicine, or He may just give us wisdom and direction in steps to take to allow healing to happen! But I am so grateful that through this whole process I know He never left me, even when my hope was low. And now I not only get to praise Him for the healing, but I get to share with ladies all the time about what the Lord did for me and offer them a little sliver of hope!

Now I am here, in a new season. And this season is proving to be one of MUCH fruit. Ministry opportunities are popping up all around me and things that I have prayed and fasted for are beginning to bud. I have the opportunity to go back to South Africa in October and I cannot wait for that! My heart loves that country and its people so much. And along side of that, I get to step in to some evangelism around Northern Cal / Nevada with a team of people who long to see the Lord made famous! It's incredible!

Had you asked me a year ago if I thought I'd be at this place in my life right now, I would have laughed at you and then cried. Because I have longed for this for so long, but I could not see past my circumstances. Thankfully I serve and love a God who sees that whole picture where I can only see bits and pieces. He's amazing!

And I just want to say, if you were one of those people who prayed with me, cried with me or encouraged me at all along this path... THANK YOU! There were days when I did not know what was carrying me through, but now that I look back I am certain it was you and your prayers. And with that, this is not just a victory in my life, but also a victory in yours!

So here's to health! Here's to new seasons! And here's to living a life of faith!

Who Knows...

When it comes to decision making, I'm generally pretty quick to decide. I use my logical brain to quickly weigh the pros and cons, considering how the effects of my decision may possibly change my daily routine or my relationship or whatever the decision pertains to. And I believe that God created us with brains so we could use common sense to make decisions. But I also believe there is a flip side to that sentiment, that sometimes there are choices to be made that require us to not be logical in our earthly minds but to operate in a mindset of faith.

I have heard story after story in the last couple of months of people who had the choice to follow the leading of the Lord. Some allowed fear to keep them from following through and some let their faith lead the way. And there is a common theme that keeps coming up when they share: "WHO KNOWS what will come out of it?", "WHO KNOWS what obedience will produce?" You see, the Lord doesn't ask us to understand what the outcome may be, He just asks us to obey.

I think of the stories in the Bible where ordinary men said yes to extra-ordinary tasks because, even if they didn't understand or couldn't see the outcome, they trusted that God's ways are higher than our ways. I think of David, Joseph, Moses, and Paul... saying yes and probably in the back of their minds wondering what would come of it all. I look at their example to trust and walk in faith, which is not as easy to do as it is to say. 

So tonight, I am encouraged! I am encouraged to think ANYTHING is possible. I am encouraged to say more yeses and to step out in faith and obedience often. I am encouraged to trust the Lord with my path and to think often: "Who knows what could be?!?!"

Because of of this decision, tonight I get to step out and share with you that the Lord has plans for me! So many opened doors being flung wide! One that I am especially excited to share is coming in October of this year! I will be venturing back to South Africa with the wonderful McGregors. The Lord has confirmed time and time again that this trip is something He has for me to step in to, and who knows, the bigger picture could be even greater than I can imagine.

Please partner with me in prayer over this trip and season in my life. And if you happened to be inclined to give or would like to find out more information, please visit the link below. 

Could you imagine what the Lord could do if we all could just put ourselves aside and trust Him enough to say yes? Who knows?!!? ;) 

Click Here For More Info On South Africa 2017