7 Eleven and Perspective

Tonight I decided to stop by 7 Eleven for a slurpee on my way home (it's too hot outside, don't judge me!:) ). As I was standing in line to pay 2 teen guys walked in and caught my attention. I wouldn't normal have noticed them, but they walked in talking pretty loudly, using every unnecessary word possible. To be honest, I was already annoyed just by that happening. They proceeded to walk into the candy and medicine aisle. I turned the other way and all of a sudden the worker at the cash register takes off from behind the counter yelling at them... to say the least, they had my attention again. As he walked over I saw one of the teens take a package of condoms, which had very obviously just been hidden, out of his pocket and shoved back on the shelf. The worker came over and was saying something and one of the boys said with an attitude, "well at least I put it back, geesh sorry" and walked away... but at least he said sorry. The other kid stood there mocking the man and making rude gestures and comments towards him, being the most disrespectful I think I've seen someone be in a long time.

My blood was boiling.

I wanted to say so much! I wanted to yell at them for being rude; lecture them for trying to steal; correct them for using such ridiculous language... but something in me kept saying to hold my tongue. All of me wanted justice for these two disrespectful boys. As the other worker rang me up I was processing so many things I could have, and wished I would, say. When he finished I backed up, looked at both workers and thanked them and made a point to say I appreciated them and their establishment and they did not deserve to be talked to like that. IT didn't resolve that need for justice in my heart but I wanted to make sure they knew I appreciated them.

When I got in the car the Lord started stirring my heart to pray for these boys. At first my prayers sounded a little bit like this: "Lord, these boys need someone to spank their butts and put some soap in their mouths. Let them get the justice they deserve for the way they are treating others!" But then, I was reminded, what makes me better than them? Only the grace of the Lord. And I started worshipping Him for that grace and His mercy on me. My song sounded a little bit like this: "You are worthy and I'm undeserving. You are righteous and I am not. You're the Holy One, Faithful One, Prince of Peace..." and then something struck me, it's not bad to want justice because He is the God of justice BUT He is also the Prince of Peace. He brings peace! He is Peace! In my mind it is hard to comprehend justice and peace coinciding in a situation like tonight's. But that is why God is God, and I am not! 

So, my prayers for those 2 boys changed a little. Instead of commanding justice, I asked for the Lord to shift their hearts. For them to get a revelation of His love for them. That they would come to see Him as Lord... and through that they would be completely, radically changed. But I also asked the Lord to transform my heart. That my first response would not be that of blood boiling justice, but of grace and peace. That He would help me to see and pray not through my flesh but through His Spirit. And immediately I felt a lift of the irritation and frustration I was feeling towards those boys. It's amazing how a situation can shift in a instance when we ask the Lord to fix our perspective. 

Lord, I know you can draw them to You and I know that they need You! So, I am standing in the gap calling out, saying reach them! Let their hearts be open to You! Let their minds and attitudes be transformed by You! We all need Your amazing grace and so I pray they would find it quickly! And I ask that you would bless my friends at 7 Eleven tonight too, Lord... they need You too! Amen

Dear Future Mr...

  My thoughts tonight are on you. I'm feeling the heaviness of what it is for you to live in a world so consumed by lust and sex. To be a man in a time where it's difficult to live up to your calling. When everyone and thing around you is telling you to just give in to the pressures of this world. The weight of no one understanding purity. My heart breaks for you. 

  The enemy would have you to believe that it's not even worth it to fight... no need to try to stand your ground, because eventually you will fail. But I declare that is a lie and the truth is you can do all things through Christ who gives you the strength. And that it is worth it to stand firm! I pray right now that as you seek the Lord you will find His heart and find that His yoke is easy. Call on His name and He will answer you!

  I'm also aware that there is a great possibility that your past will have some battle scars, or maybe even some fresh wounds. You may have given in to what so heavily tempts... But there is no condemnation in the Lord. His grace is sufficient for you! His love covers a multitude of sins. And nothing... absolutely NOTHING can separate you from His love. So don't feel shamed... don't feel condemned! But let the love of the Father and the freedom of the Lord wash over you right now! 

  I want to tell you that I'm sorry for this world being such a hard place for you to live as a man of God. I'm sorry that we, as women, have so longed for "love and affection" that those became our motive for living. That we dress for the attention; we come across either too needy or like we want nothing to do with you. I'm sorry that we have put so much pressure on you to be something for us that no man can be; to fill a void that only the Lord Himself could fill. 

  Forgive me for letting my emotions guide the way I interact with you, and for letting fear build those walls that keep me from trusting. I'm sorry that those are battles in my life that may affect you. As I pray for healing for you, I pray also for myself! I pray that the Lord would prepare me and remold me before I ever even meet you, so that I can be the woman you were meant to love and cherish, just as I pray He makes you into the man I will long to love and honor.

  I pray that in every area of your life you would find fruit. That your health would flourish. That your finances would be blessed as you honor the Lord with them. I pray that your relationships with your family would find you encouraged and strengthened. That all your friendships would bring honor to our Father. I pray that the Lord would bless you with immeasurable amounts of wisdom and discernment; and that all of your gifts would be used to build His kingdom. I pray that you hear His voice when He calls you and that it would be easy for you to know when He is speaking. May you clearly know His calling on your life and be ready to step out in faith whenever He calls. 

  But most of all, I pray that He would be number one to you... even after we meet. May He always have the throne in your life and may you always live to love, obey and serve Him. Anytime there is a decision to be made may you first turn your eyes and ears to His voice. When a trial takes place, would you look to Him for guidance. And when there is something to rejoice over, may you praise Him all the more. If that is your heart, then I will be willing to follow you wherever He may lead.

  So as I think about and pray over you tonight, I hope that you are near... but if not, I pray for the strength to endure and wait patiently... but also the boldness to not sit by idly hoping you are around the corner. My life doesn't start when you arrive, but now! Now is the time for me to walk in my Father's will. Now is my time to have faith and obey. And the same goes for you! I am longingly anticipating meeting you face to face, but until then I will pray for you often!

                                                       Love,

                                                           Your Future Mrs.

Redemptive Grace... and Josh Duggar

The world is often confused as to why we would stand by someone after committing such terrible acts... and I want to share a little bit of my heart on the matter. 

As I've been praying for this situation and family I've been reminded over and over that sin is sin and it is going to happen. Why? Because we are sinners. Simply put. We make wrong choices daily. We, often, have huge skeletons in our closets that no one knows about, because if they did we know we'd be stoned with words and attitudes that often hurt more than rocks themselves. Though past decisions and actions may not be who we are today, they do linger. 

 But the God of creation, Love himself, gave us a way out. That does not mean He is our crutch for doing sinful things and claiming "grace", but that when we fail (because we will... all of us) that there is grace for us to be forgiven and changed. For us to walk in redemption. 

What is redemption? Redemption is saving; it's freeing; its absolution from sin.  Josh Duggar may not be deserving of this thing called grace and redemption... But who among us is? Not me... Not you... Not any of us. This is the truth:

"This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." 

Romans 3:22-24

He is our grace. He is our redemption. He is also Josh's grace and his redemption. And I am reminded of the story of the adulterous woman in the Bible. The wisdom Jesus had in not condoning this woman's sins, but also giving her the grace she needed... it astounds me. The people demanding an answer from Jesus as they declare that this sin is punishable by stoning, and Jesus simply says: "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!" If we thought that way how much would actually change in this world? It's amazing grace.

In all that I've said, I hope you understand that I am not standing for the sins that Josh Duggar has committed in the past. I am not saying what he's done is ok... even in the slightest. My heart is that, is the giver of grace and redemption can wipe my slate clean every time I fail, and change my heart... He can definitely do it for anyone, including Josh Duggar. And so, I do not condone his sins, but I pray for and stand by the man whom my Jesus offered redemption to... and I give God all the glory for rescuing him from a life that was headed to destruction.

Father, you are the giver of life, and every time we fail you are faithful and just to forgive us. I am so thankful for that. Lord, I ask that as the news of Josh Duggars past spreads far and wide and is discussed and judged over and over again, that you will be that family's comfort. That you would remind them and him that, yes, what he did was wrong, but also remind him of that amazing grace. That you rescued him. You pulled him out of the miry clay and changed his life. I pray that there would be people that see through your eyes that can come in and speak life and truth into the midst of this chaos. Holy Spirit please be the releaser of truth right now. Let no lie be given flory, but let truth reign. I just pray for peace Heavenly Father. Your sweet peace. In Jesus' name, Amen!

See His Love

Yep, another song. What can I say, the Lord likes to use songs to stir me up. :) 

"Greater love no one could ever show

Mercy so undeserved, freedom I should not know

All my sin, all of my hidden shame

Died with Him on the cross, eternity won for us"

Such love... such sweet, sweet love! That He laid down His life for us. A basic truth to the foundation of our faith and yet, we forget. We forget that we only have salvation and freedom because of His love for us (John 10:10). That we only love Him because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). That our healing stem from the wounds He bore out of love (Isaiah 53:5). No human on earth could possibly offer us such love.

As easy as that is to type in this moment, often I forget that these things took place. So caught up in the to-do lists, trying to earn a living, my health, my comfort and sooooo much more, that I forget! The very One that my heart longs for, I forget. The very reason I am even alive, I forget. But to prove how vast His love is, how immeasurably amazing He is, He graciously calls to me overtime I forget. He lovingly embraces me until I remember again. Until I stop seeing through these ridiculous human eyes and begin to see and feel and breathe through His Spirit in me. In those moments He reminds me that His love covered all of my sins. His love does not condemn me, but it calls to me saying "I am here... Always!" 

I want that to dwell in the forefront of my mind at all times. Not just every now and then; not just when it's convenient, but ALWAYS! Because as much as I DON'T deserve an ounce of His love, multiply that by infinity and that is how much He DOES deserve my love!

Holy, loving One. I can't even fathom this life without You and Your sacrifice for me. And all I want to do is honor You; all I want to do is exalt You. You are so worthy and so beyond deserving of everything and anything I can give! May Your sweet Spirit remind me of that more often. Would You help me to allow Him to speak and guide me more than just every once and a while. Let me always remember that all of my sin, all of my hidden shame died with You on the cross and eternity was won for me!

Never Lose The Wonder

May we never lose our wonder

May we never lose our wonder

Wide eyed and mystified

May we be just like a child

Staring at the beauty of our King

Today as I drove to work I had my music turned down low and I was thinking about my walk with the Lord. I reminisced about the ups and downs I've had with Him. The times I had set my eyes as flint on Him; and the times I allowed my focus to wander like a dog chasing it's tail. In the midst of the ups and downs I have felt like I had no clue who the Lord was, but even worse than that, there were times I felt like I know exactly who He was. And in that moment of thinking, this song came on (Wonder by Amanda Cook) and I realized what a catastrophe it is for us to think we have the Lord figured out... to lose every bit of wonder!

The Lord is a... complex? No... He's an unexplainable being! Yet, He allows us to know Him. There's no possible way for us to know Him completely, but the parts our human minds can comprehend are AMAZING! But when we think that we know all there is to know, we've taken the wonder out of Him. We've placed Him in a box of humanly explanations. We've brought Him down to our level. But He so far surpasses our level that nothing we could think if could compare to His majesty... His love... His faithfulness... and so much more!

I think about the stories in the Bible when Jesus did unexplainable things, like when He saved the prostitute from being stoned and bent down to write in the dirt. Why did He write in the dirt? Why did Holy Spirit feel that was a necessary part of the story that needed to be in the Bible? Or when Jesus healed the blind man by spitting in the dirt and putting mud over the man's eyes. He could have just looked in the mans direction and healed him... but there He chose the mud. How about this big one... Why did the Father choose to send His Son? Why is His love for us so deep that He gave us an escape route from sin and death?

So many questions (and believe me every time I read the Bible I add on to my list of things I will ask Him about in Heaven lol)!! But I love Him. I am in awe of Him. I want to worship Him. I don't fully understand, which He tells me in His word that I will only understand in part, but it's ok. We have to be ok with not having every answer. With understand that He is sovereign... He is God! 

So, tonight I want to encourage you (especially all you control freaks out there like me)... Take some time and let the wonder of who He is fill you. Be ok with not knowing and simply having faith. Be ok with Him revealing only what He wants, when He wants. 

He's so worthy of our wonder!

If you can, just play this song and listen with your eyes closed and let yourself sit in 

WONDER!

FIRE!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday morning began as a usual Sunday would for me... I forced myself out of bed (I am SO not a morning person!) and into the shower. I did my normal getting ready routine: brush teeth, try to find an outfit, do my hair, pluck my eyebrows, go back to the closet because I still haven't picked what I'm going to wear, get dressed, do makeup and then drive to church. It all felt pretty normal, like an ordinary day. But there was something different in the air... I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but something was different!

I sat in the church sanctuary waiting for service to begin, thinking about how hungry I was lol, and then worship started. I love worship... I'm sure I have said that many times before, but worship holds a very special place in my heart. So I stood there in awe of the Lord and His sacrifice and His power and His love for me. But that still felt pretty normal, nothing extraordinary seemed to occur. 

One of our pastors then got up to welcome everyone and have us greet each other. I love this time in our service, the excitement of us all seeing each other and getting/giving hugs, it puts a smile on my face. After announcements our Pastor got up to preach. He spoke about our friend, Holy Spirit! 

I love Holy Spirit! I love learning new things about Him. I love hanging out with Him. I love when I hear Him speaking to me! The day I met Him, I was forever changed. And it wasn't about any particular gift that He offered me, it was about the transformation He brought in my life! I can now be more effective in ministry and life because He's with me. I truly love Him, and I don't tell Him that enough!

With that being said, I get really excited when people around me start desiring Holy Spirit to come and fill them! It pumps me up to know that someone else is going to be able to be more effective in this earth for furthering the Kingdom of God! So when our Pastor asked us all to stand and ask for Holy Spirit to come be with us, live in us, use us... I was ecstatic! But then he called forth the children and teenagers, and I knew, in that moment I knew what was different about the day! The Lord was getting ready to fill and release a generation to their purpose!

I work with the youth group at our church, I am around teens more than I'm not lol. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Sometimes I think, "man, I need to get some friends my own age!" But my best friend and I were talking last week about how blessed we are that in this season of life we don't have to worry about caring for a family and so we are able to freely give our time and attention to these kids who WILL change this world! We get to help them grow and mature but we also get to enjoy them and their WIDE VARIETY of personalities. We get to help pull out gifts in them that they may not even see yet and speak life into them when they are struggling, knowing that these are the things the Lord will us to shake a nation. We are blessed to get to share life with students who long for the Lord! I'm truly honored that they allow me in!

But back to Sunday morning... as our Pastor called the kids forth I expected that it would take a little pushing to get them to go to the front, but when I lifted my head and opened my eyes I saw the front of the church FILLED with children ranging from babies to teenagers about to graduate. There was a desperation and it was felt across the sanctuary. As I sat there praying for Holy Spirit to have His way, my eyes began to swell with tears and I caught myself saying this over and over again: "Lord, if you will fill these kids overflowing this world can't help but be changed! If you will fill them to overflowing, their families won't be able to stay the same!" 

I know it may not have seemed like a big thing happened because there weren't people laid out on the floor or people taking laps around the church, but something shifted yesterday! I saw kids who I personally know have been struggling, I saw them lift their eyes to Jesus in a new way, with a new longing! I feel like a new perspective was giving yesterday and a new passion... a passion for His glory to be released through them in this earth! AHHHH!!! COME ON HOLY ONE!!!

Lord, I am in awe of Your wondrous hand! Though I may not see Your moving at every moment I know without a shadow of a doubt that You are worthy of praise! I thank You for allowing me to be a part of that moment yesterday morning where You changed lives and called these students to higher places! Thank You for allowing me to be a part of their lives! I ask that You would be their protection and their strength to stand upon You and Your word! May the same power that raised You from the dead Jesus, may it overflow out of them... ALL FOR YOUR GLORY! Amen

A Note to Parents Far and Wide (lol)

Let me start by saying this post is not meant to be one of judgement, but one of my observations and revelations. I feel like I needed a warning at the beginning of this topic because my thoughts today are on parenting, and since I'm not a parent as of now (PTL! lol) I could see how it could easily be taken as judgmental. But I do have a lot of experience with children and their parents since I nannied for a little under 10 yrs and have worked in several preschool environments, including the one I'm currently working in. I have seen it all! And so I have some thoughts and hopefully encouragement for you parents out there.

As I think back over the last decade (plus some) of being around so many different family structures something really sticks out to me, not one is the same as the other AND not one is perfectly done. There are parents that use techniques that I could never imagine using to raise a child. Then their are parents that I imagine I will be like, using techniques that are on the opposite spectrum from the previously stated ones. Then there are the parents that mix in bits and pieces of so many different techniques. The thing is, no technique is perfect. No parent is perfect. And no child is exactly like the previous or the latter. There are just so many things that play into how a child will turn out. But often I look at parents and how defeated they look and sound as they compare themselves to one another and my heart breaks. Comparison in any aspect just brings destruction. It is a deadly weapon of the enemy... but our God is bigger! And He created each of us in very unique ways with very specific personalities. I say all of that to make the point that, what works for one parent, may not work for the other. :)

I watch the families coming into the office as they drop-off or pick-up their child. There is often a wide variety of children walking in and out every day.  One day Melon (fake name given for the protection of our students) may walk in with the biggest smile, so happy to see everyone and get to play with her friends... the next day, she's throwing herself on the floor in a tantrum because mommy has to go to work. Then we have Choco (again, fake name) who is as silent as silent can be as they walk through the office, but get them on the play ground and they can't stop jabbering! It's not only personalities that affect how these kids act but how they are feeling, their environment, how much sleep they got, etc... the list could go on for days. It's because of this that trying to be the perfect parent is impossible!

But here is some encouragement for you parents, the only thing that will get you through this crazy thing called parenting is our Heavenly Father. Only His ways are perfect! When we try to do things in our own strength or mold children into what someone else's child might look like, we fail! Why? Because we aren't perfect and no child will ever be perfect (except sweet baby Jesus of course). And I just feel like the Lord wants me to tell you that His ways are higher then our ways (Isaiah 55:9), so trust Him!

You could waste your life trying to read every parenting book known to man (I am NOT against parenting books) and trying every technique that's ever been used to raise your child, but the reality is that placing yourself firmly in the Word and teaching your child to be firmly placed in the Word, will be the strongest and most secure technique out there. There will be ups, there will be downs, and there will be a whole lot of in betweens, but being faithful to raise your children to honor the Lord is what will give you sanity at the end of the day! They won't be perfect, they will still make A LOT of mistakes (trust me, I've done it and I work with teens who do it more often than not) because there is freewill but the Lord is faithful to His word where it says "Train a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6.

Last thoughts... don't let the weight of this world try to cause you to believe you are a bad parent because your child does look like, talk like, play like, sit like, run like, or sleep like the way the child next to you does. In fact, be encouraged that the differences in your child will be used to glorify the Lord in ways only they can, because they are unique! Their personalities are unique and their strengths/weaknesses are unique and so their callings will be unique! But ask the Lord daily for the wisdom (Proverbs 2:6 & James 1:5) and strength (Isaiah 41:10; 1 Chronicles 16:11; Philippians 4:13) to trust Him in raising your child/children and know that He will make your path straight (Proverbs 3:5&6).

Lord, tonight I bless every parent I know. Every parent that is struggling to raise a child in this crazy world. I pray that You would be their strength and wisdom in training them in the way they should go, but also that You would be their peace and hope! That even in the hardest times, in the most tiring of times that You would be there speaking to them and loving on them. I ask for a stirring in their hearts to be consistent in raising their children to love You and honor You... that through their obedience to raise them as Your children, they too would receive the honor they deserve as parents. Remind them in the imperfect times that You are still there and You still love them! Thank You for their hearts to love You and love their children! Amen!

For those of you who are not parents, these basic truths from His word can be applied to every area of your life too, don't dismiss it! lol